I Went Somewhere With This…

Ya wanna know the one thing I dislike more than most things? & before I get to that… just let me say that I dislike a lot of things. Hot weather, bacon, (which some would say makes me un-american.. 🙂 ) scary movies, animal abusers, heavy metal music, going to the dentist, terrorists… I mean… the list could go on & on. — But at the very top of it, there is one thing I dislike more than most things…. & that is a hateful christian that uses the name of Jesus to justify their hatred.

See I bet you didn’t think I was gonna say that. Not after I put terrorist on the list. But see that’s the thing… A terrorist needs Jesus… & I know that. They may not know that… but I know it. So when I’m looking at it from that perspective, while I may be absolutely appalled by whatever they’ve done… I am aware that they need a revelation from a life changing God. — Which brings me back to those hateful Christians.

I can be a hateful person. I can be mean. I can be petty.. I can be judgmental. I can decide that someone is sinning far worse than I am. I can put the spite in spiteful when I so choose. I can take “I am right & you are wrong” to a ridiculously condescending level. I can show people unkindness when I’m angry or disagree with them. I can do all these awful things. & I am guilty of doing so on many occasions. I am not perfect & I am well aware of it every single day. But here’s the thing….

I own that… I own up that I am a flawed human being because I am not perfect. I own my weaknesses & am aware that hate can pour out of me sometimes. But here’s the thing… I am never going to give God the credit for those things. If I show hate to another human being in any form… I am not about to put that on God. It’s not from Him & He doesn’t deserve to be cast in such a light as that. I don’t expect people to be perfect, but when someone fails to walk in love, and we all will time and time again, I also don’t expect them to give God the glory and credit for actions rooted in hatred. It’s not from Him.

It grinds my gears that there are christians that quote their bibles word for word, but look down on someone who lands in prison…. because God says so. That there are christians that spout about their christianity all the time, but shun their families should they sin differently from them… because their bible says they must. That there are christians that sit in church & preach compassion, but then lack that very same compassion for people on the outside of their little circles… because God says their way or no way. That there are christians that speak of God’s love, but show people the very opposite by what they say & what they do… because God backs their words & actions with His word.

It makes me angry. But it makes me angry because people are watching. People that don’t know God are watching & they are forming opinions & making decisions about Him based off the actions of these people. They are doing God a disservice & an injustice & they are using Him to justify ugliness. They are telling a world full of unsaved people that God is not love. They are saying to the world, He loves you if… He loves you when… He loves you… if you walk, and talk, and think like we do. As if His love, compassion, and kindness are conditional. When they are no such thing. He loves you… period.

It drives me insane. & while I can’t do anything about that… I did recently realize there is something I can do.

I can be louder than them. I can be kinder than them. I can choose love, where they have chosen hate, & God will use the platform that I am to show people who He is, through me. But He can’t do that if I’m so angry & wrapped up in hatred for these people. I have to let it go. — & I’m not good at letting things go.

But I am a work in progress. & for the first time, in a long time, rather than anger… some days what I feel in regards to them is pity. I feel sorry for them. That they have all this knowledge of Jesus… but they don’t know His heart. & I don’t want to lose myself & stray so far away that I become them. I’m not good at being the bigger person… but that’s what God calls me to be. & if I want others to see Him in me…. I don’t have a choice.

So while I still don’t like it. & they will always be at the top of my list. I can’t focus on that. I have to do every thing I can to counter it. So that people watching may come to know Jesus Christ & all that His grace & love have to offer. I have to be on His side, which means I have to set aside all the anger. I want to make sure that while the world is hearing them say, He loves you if…. & He loves you when…. that they’ll also be hearing someone else saying, No.. He loves you despite…. He loves you. Period.

That’s the only way..

So until next time… 🙂


I’m In Love…

So. First I found Sherlock. Then I found Broadchurch.

I’m in love.

BBC, why have I never noticed you before now? Okay, I take that back. I purposely overlooked you because I’m accustomed to my long 22 episode per season television shows & I figured I’d get all attached to your characters & then I’d just be disappointed when the shows ended before I was ready for them too. So why set myself up for heartbreak? I’ll just stay away, I reasoned. — Selfish, I know. — However, I now see how bad that logic was. I apologize. — Forgive me? I promise to make it up to you in the form of binge-watching! 😀



Real Talk!

I want to point out just what the world is like today. If you don’t mind reading a paragraph of random things about me first, then read on, because I’m going somewhere with this in a minute. 🙂

I’m young. 24 years old. I lean more conservatively in politics, although there are some things where my position is very much in the middle. I believe in Jesus & I believe in love. — I don’t like to label myself a christian these days, sadly enough, Christians themselves have turned it into something very ugly with all the hate they scribble on poster boards & march up & down the streets shouting at any & everyone they deem unworthy. — I love Christmas & I love to start buying & even, yes, decorating a little early sometimes. I’m also a black Friday shopper. I don’t like bacon. I love to order peppers & onions on my pizza, although I have every intention of turning around & taking them all off. They served their purpose solely by adding flavor. — I like Marvel better than DC, but I watch both. & I’ve never been into comics… so my interest didn’t come from them. I just watched Iron Man one day & fell in love. & by the way, Hawkeye is the man, & I’m team Cap! — Winter is by far the best season ever. My favorite. — I think police brutality is real, but that it’s not every officer, and they shouldn’t all be punished for the actions of a few. — I think racism is real, very real, but not every one is a racist, and entire groups shouldn’t be labeled based off the actions of only some. — I like Marco Rubio. Donald Trump scares me. I feel like Hillary Clinton is very insincere. — I prefer Fallon to Kimmel. — Mountains are better than the beach & horror movies are the worst thing ever.

Here’s the thing. All of that is very much true for me. Every single one of those statements, however, could get me cursed out, degraded, bullied, and shamed. — From something as big a deal as racism or religion to something as small as I’m team cap or I don’t like bacon. — There are people who will tell me I’m the worst sort of human being & to just go die because I don’t like bacon. — I wish I was making that up…. because it is as absurd as it sounds. — Has the world always been this crazy & unkind and we just never saw it in its full glory until the internet & the rise of social media?  I don’t know, maybe so.

For the people who do this? (Which sometimes feels like the whole entire world.. Lol.) You can stop now. Although you probably won’t, I thought I’d throw it out there anyhow.

For the people who don’t? THANK YOU! 🙂 You are part of the good that makes the world go ’round.. 🙂 Thank You for engaging in debates, conversations, and disagreements with kindness & civility rather than hatred and hostility. — I don’t know why there are people that don’t understand they can be frustrated & angry over something & respond without going to the land of curses & name-calling… but a big thank you to those of you that don’t! 🙂