Tag Archives: Love

A Valentine's Day Warning…

It’s Valentine’s Day!

If you want my honest opinion… (I know some of you probably don’t. I apologize in advance.) I find the holiday to be overrated. Yes, I said it. Over. Rated. (Okay, I know that’s one word. I was going for emphasis.)

I’ve always felt that way about it though. It’s just an opinion. If you enjoy it, then that’s great.

If you’re single, and you’re watching all these loving couples celebrate each other and find yourself thinking, I want what they have.

No you don’t.

You want love, and I genuinely hope you find it someday. But please, whatever you do, don’t want what you see on social media. Social media is not an accurate portrayal of what love is. And I’m sure you know that. But this is just a reminder. You don’t know what happens behind those closed doors. It’s sweet, and it’s cute, and it’s loving, and adorable… but that’s what they choose to present to you. You don’t see the ugly stuff.

Love should be celebrated, and it’s incredibly special. But… I see people leave comments on statuses and pictures that say, I want what you have. I want a love like yours. And that’s a dangerous line of thinking. If only because you don’t have any idea what their relationship is actually like.

For example, I dated a guy for years, who was a world-class jerk. And people thought we were cute, and they thought, what an adorable little couple. I’d like to have a relationship like that. Let me just say, I came out of it battered, and broken, and a completely different person than I was when I went into it. And not in a good way. But no one saw that happening, because I didn’t share it. Some of the stories I could tell, would stun the living daylights out of people, because there was never an inkling about what was going on when no one was looking. And if those same people that said, I want what they have, had actually seen what we had…. they would have said, Aw hell no, I don’t want that.

I’m not saying every relationship you see is a bad one. I may have dated an awful guy, but I married a good one. So I know there are better relationships to be had. All I’m saying, is be very careful when looking at what other people present to the world, and wishing you had it. Or feeling down because you don’t.

Instead, if you want to wish for love, that’s okay, just don’t wish for what you see someone else with. Wish for the right one for you, because yours is never going to look identical to anyone else’s.

And one other thing. Do not, under any circumstances, settle, because you’re looking around and see all these relationships and you want one, too.

That world-class jerk I mentioned? Had I settled for less than I deserved because I wanted some happily ever after that I saw others around us getting… I would have made a horrible mistake and ruined my life.

You know what I figured out? It was okay to be single. It was okay to be alone. It was okay to be by myself until the right person came along. Was that terrifying for me at the time? Yes. Was I lonely some days? Yes. Was I scared I’d spend forever alone? Yes.

But it was better than making the mistake of marrying the wrong man.

Just don’t let today get in your head and mess with you. That’s all. I know it can be hard for a lot of people.

Anyway, I’m going to kick back and watch Tangled and finish my Oreo milkshake. (Just like a child, rather than the 29 year old adult that I am.)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Heather.

What You Don't See… The Emotions.

I’m still working on an out of order edit for book one. I just edited Chapters 18 & 23. I went through each chapter twice. Both had a handful of changes that I made. Nothing wild and crazy. The wild and crazy edits are over. I completed those months ago. (Thank God!)

But after two hours of staring at my computer screen, I have headache. That, and it’s late and I’m tired. Also, chapter 23 is one of the more emotionally draining chapters. 22, 23, & 24, actually. So, that didn’t help either.

A lot of people may not realize that as writers, a lot of the time, most of us, really pour ourselves into what we do. Tough stuff hits hard. We feel as we write, and that’s rough.

For instance, my second book. Writing that was incredibly emotionally draining some days. Bits and pieces of Charley’s story are torn straight from the fabric of my own life. I lived it. I understand it in a way that makes it twice as painful than if I’d never known personally what the journey is like. — I won’t spoil that, because I don’t want to spoil her story before people get to read about it someday, but there are moments in it, where I felt the punch that was packed, because I’d been there, done that. I knew the struggle intimately. And there’s no way to write it without part of me bleeding onto those pages.

Anna’s story was hard, too. In different ways. It’s titled Forgiving Anna, not so much because someone else has to forgive her, but because she has to come to terms with forgiving herself. And if you’ve ever been there, I don’t have to tell you how painful it is to forgive yourself for making mistakes that have devastating consequences. It’s one of the hardest things to do. I know what that’s like. I know what it feels like. And that gets poured straight onto those pages as they’re written. And then cultivated as they’re edited.

I’m also the type of person who feels everything. I break down sobbing listening to songs, watching tv shows, reading sad or heartfelt stories. I feel it all, and those feelings end up on the pages.

It gets a little less draining with each edit, but stuff still packs a punch, even then.

That’s not to say I write sad books. I don’t. They’re romance novels slap full of love, witty banter, sexual tension, and even a laugh here or there. But my whole purpose is to write real, relatable characters. And real life is messy. Full of tough, dark moments. But what I love about life, is that no matter how dark, there is light in that darkness. There is happiness to be found. Love wins, it conquers all. And things may get ugly sometimes, painful and sad. We live through things that mess us up and get in our way, break us and tear us down, but we get back up, and we keep on going. We find love, we find happiness, and we find joy again. It doesn’t beat us. And those are the stories that I choose to tell.

My characters, they’re like us. Their stories are like ours. They make mistakes. They get hurt. They deal with loss. Some of them are bitter and angry. Some of them are afraid. Some of them have lost people they loved. Some are addicts. Some don’t have loving families. Some have come face to face with sexual assault or domestic abuse. Some have been in prison. Some have been to war. Some just have messed up families. Some are completely alone, on their own. Others have felt the sting of rejection, what it’s like to never be good enough, to never live up to the expectations their loved ones have of them. — They’re like us.

But just like us, they find happiness. They have hope. They find love. They laugh, and they smile, and they live.

And those are the stories that I tell. That is the point that I make. That even in the dark, or after it, there is light, because there is love. And yeah, it’s in romance form here, but these people have friends and family, too. There is a whole lot of love and whole lot of beating the odds in my books, and that’s because I think it’s so incredibly important to remind people… there is light in the darkness. There are good times after the bad. Hold on. You will love again. You will laugh again. You will know happiness again.

So when I write these books, I have to feel all these things. Process them and wade into the deep end. But it’s worth it.

It’s so worth it.

Anyway, I’m going to call it a night. Hope you all have a fantastic day!

Heather.

Another Blog Post You Never Asked For… Pajamas & Peanut Butter…

So to kick off 2020 I thought I’d do a little blog post about myself. If you want to learn a little bit about me, read on….

My first name is Heather, last name Threatte, pronounced Threeeee-T. Trust me. I know you were wondering.

I love cold weather. Documentaries. Board games. Lemon water. Old sitcoms. Sleeping in. Starry night skies. Gardening. Dogs. Flowers. Christmas. Exercise. Sweet, not salty. Pajama shorts. Late nights. And historical romance novels.

I believe in love, kindness, and compassion above all things.

My husband is my favorite person. My mom is my best friend. And if I’m being honest, I like my dog better than most people. What can I say? She’s my little cuddle bug. ❤️

I like more peanut butter than jelly on my pb&j’s.

I’m a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl every day of the week. (Okay, not when I’m at home writing. I have a large variety of nice, colorful pajama shorts for that!)

I can’t talk about myself without mentioning, that while my husband is my favorite person, and my Mom is my best friend, God is my favorite everything, the best of the best, and I don’t even have words for how much that defines me.

I’m shy. A little anti-social. Introverted. But I try. I try to put myself out there as often as I can. And no matter what, I’ll never stop trying.

And lastly, I just want to say, I like to eat spoon fulls of peanut butter right by themselves. — Yes, I’ve mentioned peanut butter twice already. Clearly, I like peanut butter! (And pajama shorts! They got two honorable mentions as well!)

So that’s a little bit about me. If you want to drop a few lines about yourself in the comment section down below, go for it! I’d love to learn more about you. Do you like eating peanut butter in your pajamas? Maybe! Who knows!

Until Next Time,
Heather. 😊

9 Years, Carrots, & A Marriage! (Mine! ❤️)

One of my biggest fears before I got married…. What if I wake up one day and realize I made a mistake? What if I wake up one day and realize I got it wrong? What then?

9 years. I met my husband 9 years ago.

8 years. We got engaged 8 years ago.

7 years. We got married 7 years ago.

My husband peels the carrots. I know you’re thinking… what does that have to do with anything?

Everything.

Because a marriage is made up of so many moving pieces and parts, and you’ll miss the small things sometimes, not realizing how valuable they are.

He peels the carrots and the potatoes and the other veggies because it takes me forever to do it. It literally takes me three times as long. Sometimes I’ll ask him to. Other times, like tonight, he’ll pop into the kitchen, see me with a bag of carrots, grin, and offer to do it for me.

And it’s not just the carrots. That’s only one piece of a giant puzzle.

Before I met my husband, after one long, disastrous relationship, followed by one I was only in because I was so broken from the one before it, and then a string of lousy dates after that one… I told God I was done. I was through. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was in a Bi-Lo parking lot when I stepped out of the car to go into the store, and I just sort of stopped there, just beside the car. And I said, “Whoever he is, wherever he is… I’m waiting on You. Whenever that is. You just let me know.”

3 months later I met Jeremy. And something just clicked. I didn’t know then what that something was, just that when I sat down with him for the very first time, it felt right.

At the time we were two very selfish people that had a lot of growing to do. As do most couples. But it was the beginning of something. I didn’t hear God telling me no, so I went with it.

We dated, fell in love, got engaged, but before we got married I almost walked away. And God finally spoke. He said, “Don’t you dare.”

And I knew. I knew then that God had sent him. — I also knew that if I let him, the devil would tear it all slap apart.

I was still scared. I still wondered, in the back of my mind, what if I’m making a mistake?

I didn’t make a mistake. Every single day I wake up and fall more and more in love with my husband.

He peels carrots while I snap green beans, both of us talking, laughing, joking.

He smiles, and just like the first time I met him, I still get a little lost in it.

I know carrots don’t seem like a big deal, but even now, nearly a decade later, we’re still a team. When it’s the small things, like vegetables… And when it’s the bigger things, whatever they may be. Doesn’t matter.

We still click. Both of us sliding into place like puzzle pieces. Right where we belong.

We still have a long way to go. Nine years is only a dent in a lifetime, but God knows what He’s doing, and I know He did this. So long as we stick with Him, all the way, all the time, I know we’ll always be fine. ❤️

So here is a nice, blurry selfie I forced my husband to pop in and smile for! 😘

Love y’all!

When Your Mom Is Your Best Friend…

I’m aware of the immense amount of blessings I’ve been given, and so, so incredibly grateful for each & every one of them.

One of those blessings just so happens to be my Mom. I realize that not everyone has the kind of relationships with their parents that I have with mine. I am, more than I could ever say, blessed beyond reason in that department. And it’s one of the things I’ll always be eternally grateful for.

Not all mothers & daughters become friends, much less best friends. But God didn’t just give me a mom, He also gave me my closest friend. — Next to my husband, of course. 😉

Growing up I don’t think I ever thought that would be the case. My mom was not my best friend when I was a child, and certainly not when I was a teen who thought I knew better than she did. (I didn’t by the way, know better than she did. Turned out she was wiser than 16 year old Heather ever knew.)

But over time she became more than a mom. She became a confidante, a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board, advice giver, trusted secret keeper, cheerleader, shopping pal, supporter, defender, late-night chit-chatter… she became a friend. A best friend. The kind most people don’t have many of.

We laugh, we joke, we gossip… sure, you’re not supposed to, but we all do it.. I’ll admit it. We call each other up & talk for hours. We make spur of the moment dinner plans, just because we can. We play board games, & half the time end up laughing until we’re crying because we crack each other up. We band together, against the rest of the world, if that’s what we have to do. We see each other all the time, but you’ll still find us next to each other at every holiday get-together, because… duh! If we’re having a bad day, we pick up the phone. We talk about it. Somebody’s getting on my nerves? My mama knows. She been knew! Drive her insane? I’ve got the details. I done been told! 😉

You disrespect my Mama? It’s going to take all God’s got to keep me in line.

You want to know why that is? Because she’s not just any kind of mom, or any kind of friend. She’s the kind of mom that took all my crap over the years. Listened to all my angry rants, aimed at her, when I was mad & couldn’t see past myself. The kind that I’m sure I hurt, over & over again, & yet… to this day… she’s not holding a grudge for all the heartache I’m sure I caused her over the years. No, she’s on the phone with me for hours at a time, laughing, and joking, and talking. & I know that’s a Mom thing, too… but it’s also a friend thing. & I, blessed as I am, recognize that I have both of those all wrapped up in one.

Every time I’m at the grocery store, I call her up… How long do you steam carrots for? Is it raining there? What’s the difference in all the different colored onions? I put watermelon in my cart, you know I’m probably not going to eat it? Should I get it or just put it back? I hear a kid screaming. I change my mind. I don’t want kids anymore. What brand of olive oil? There’s like a hundred to choose from! Pre-cut peppers? Or should I just buy the peppers & cut them up myself? Frozen or fresh? Oh, frozen? Nah. I’m getting fresh.

I really wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I have a good mom. I have a great mom. I’m biased, but I’ll tell you right now, I’ve got one of the best. (One of the best dad’s, too!) I didn’t think that when I was younger. They wouldn’t let me do anything. — Oh, you want to go there? NO. Oh, you want to stay out later than curfew? NO. Oh, what’s that boy’s name? DON’T CARE! NO. Oh, a party? NO. Do I know their parents? NO? THEN NO. —- Haha… it’s funny now. But it wasn’t then. No, that was the bane of every teenagers existence, and I can tell you that this teenager didn’t appreciate it.

Oh, I appreciate it now, and I respect it.

But the tide has turned. I’ve grown up, and what a parent is to their adult children, well that’s a whole different ball game.

My Mama can’t tell me what to do anymore, (Well, she can, but I don’t have to listen.) but she doesn’t have to. I willingly seek her advice. I want it. Tell me what to do. Give me the answers. Allllll the answers. 😉

I have more respect, and love, for my Mama than she will ever know. For the wonderful mom she’s been my entire life, all the sacrifices, the moments where she set herself to the side, for me. I have memories that I will cherish for as long as I live, & that means the world to me.

And the beautiful thing about having a mom who is also your best friend? The memories just keep on coming. It’s twice the love, twice the laughter, twice the joy. It’s extra special.

She had no idea when I was born, if this is how things would turn out. But she hoped & prayed for it. That I’d be her little girl as a child, and her best friend as an adult. — She got her wish, and I was given far more than I could ever have hoped for.

I am so thankful to God for what I’ve been given. All the blessings. On this night, however, here’s a shout out to my Mama. — Love you. Always. Friends forever! ❤️

Heather!

I Went Somewhere With This…

Ya wanna know the one thing I dislike more than most things? & before I get to that… just let me say that I dislike a lot of things. Hot weather, bacon, (which some would say makes me un-american.. 🙂 ) scary movies, animal abusers, heavy metal music, going to the dentist, terrorists… I mean… the list could go on & on. — But at the very top of it, there is one thing I dislike more than most things…. & that is a hateful christian that uses the name of Jesus to justify their hatred.

I want to say real quick, right here, before anyone misunderstands…. I’m not saying that I expect people to be perfect. I’m not saying that Christians shouldn’t screw up… we do, we will…. it’s part of being human. — I’m only talking about the ones that beat other people into the ground over their sins…. and claim it’s because God tells them too. — There is a difference.

I can be a hateful person.. and I am talking about myself personally right now. I can be mean. I can be petty.. I can be judgmental. I can decide that someone is sinning far worse than I am. I can put the spite in spiteful when I so choose. I can take “I am right & you are wrong” to a ridiculously condescending level. I can show people unkindness when I’m angry or disagree with them. I can do all these awful things. & I am guilty of doing so on many occasions. I am not perfect & I am well aware of it every single day. But here’s the thing….

I own that… I own up that I am a flawed human being because I am not perfect. I own my weaknesses & am aware that hate can pour out of me sometimes. But here’s the thing… I’m not going to give God the credit for those things. If I show hate to another human being in any form… I am not about to put that on God.

I don’t expect people to be perfect, but when someone fails to walk in love, and we all will time and time again, I also don’t expect them to give God the glory and credit for actions rooted in hatred. That’s a human failing, not his.

It angers me that there are christians that quote the bible word for word, but look down on someone who lands in prison…. because God says so. That there are christians that spout about their christianity all the time, but shun their families should they sin differently from them… because their bible says they must. That there are christians that sit in church & preach compassion, but then lack that very same compassion for people on the outside of their circles… because God says their way or no way.

It makes me angry because people are getting hurt. People that don’t know God are watching & they are forming opinions & making decisions about Him based off these sorts of things. They are doing God a disservice & an injustice. — They are telling a world full of people that God is not love. They are saying to the world, He loves you if… He loves you when… — He loves you… if you walk, and talk, and think like we do. As if His love, compassion, and kindness are conditional. When they are no such thing. — He loves you… period.

It drives me insane… but I’ve recently realized some things…. I said I was going somewhere with this… so here it goes….

 

 

I can speak up about Him. I can be kind and compassionate. To the ones they steer clear of, I can welcome with open arms. Every day, every word, every action I take… I can walk in love. — That’s what I can do. That’s who I can be. That’s what I can focus on.

What I realized was that it’s not about them. I’ve been so focused on them… that I missed that point entirely. They’re not my concern. What they do…. is their business. What I do.. is mine.

God has been working some serious overtime on this. It’s been a big hurdle for me. I think we’ve finally come out on the other side. We had to get passed the hatred I was harboring. Then we had to get passed my inability to overlook how families & friends just let that sort of behavior slide right on by. In the end, the last piece of that puzzle… I had to realize that it wasn’t my concern. I get no say in how others choose to live their lives… free will is free will.

It doesn’t mean I have to agree with them… because that’s not happening. It just means I have to stay in my lane.

It’s not about them. It’s never been about them. There’s an antithesis to that sort of hate… and it’s love. God is love and so long as I strive to do all things in love… I’ll be showing God everywhere I go & in everything I do. Love wins out over hate every time. Even when it doesn’t seem like it, it does. — I’m not perfect, I know it, and I won’t always get it right. But that’s okay. — I’m going to try.

I spent so much time giving people like this too much of my time & energy. Too many of my thoughts and too many of my words.

There’s a peace that comes with knowing that their words and their actions are not my concern & that anything they say or do is entirely irrelevant to me.

My job is not to police anyone else. It’s not theirs either. It’s God’s. I no longer want any part of it.

I just want to do what God needs me to do, stay in my lane, and keep moving forward.

I’ve been so worried about the damage that this sort of thing does to people, instead of focusing on the ability of God’s love to repair that damage. — I realized that’s what I need to be about.

It’s a far cry from where I was.

You may have even noticed that the tone of the first part of this post was a little different than the second half. — That’s because the first half was written 5 months ago… and it had a slightly different ending. — Mostly that I needed to let it go & be the opposite of them. — Which is still true… but it was slightly more hostile because I was still struggling very hard with it. — I’m not anymore.

This has been heavy bondage that’s been weighing me down… and I finally broke free. (Okay… God sprung me from this prison, let’s be real, jail break! lol.)

I used to feel anger, rage, and irritation. It used to consume me. But now…. I don’t feel any of that. — Don’t get me wrong… I still don’t like that this happens and I still don’t like that there are people that do this. But…. it doesn’t eat away at me anymore.

I’ve come a long way y’all. This post started somewhere else, written by someone with an entirely different attitude… than where it ended up. — I was on my way here at the time & had made some progress… but it took months to evolve all the way to this.

That’s God. All God. Every bit of it.

I thought about deleting this post altogether…. and then decided it’s a great example of God repairing damage done by hatred. I let it seep into my soul… and He took it out… & then replaced it with something far greater.

So it stays.. 🙂
Love you guys!