Posted in Blog, Book Updates, Writing

Wash, Rinse, Repeat… ?!

Ever have one of those writing days where you don’t really wanna but you know you should, so you do? But then it’s like you have to push & shove & pull & fight to get 2 sentences on the page… and those 2 sentences sound like utter crap.

So then you begin a cycle of writing a couple of sentences, reading it, shaking your head, back spacing.

Writing a couple of sentences, reading it, shaking your head, back spacing.

over & over & over again.

Yep! One of those days.

But I will say that I did manage to get a page or two written despite all that & while it may be a total mess when I have to edit back through later… that’s okay. Something was written & that’s always better than nothing. Gives me something to edit in the future if nothing else.

Or who knows? May edit back through & find it to be an outstanding couple of pages. Future Heather may be like this is literary gold. 😀

So here I am blogging about my writing woes. But really if that’s all I have to complain about I must say I’m doing pretty good. 🙂

Talk to you all later.
With Love,
Heather. 😀

Posted in Blog, Book Updates

Book Update — Big Change.

The title says it all.

I have, for the foreseeable future, tabled the book I have been working on.

When I decided to write my first book I didn’t realize that I was going to get lost in the mechanics of it all, so to speak. I didn’t know at the time that I was going to let genre choices, people, expectations, and pressure dictate the story I told. — But that’s exactly what I did.

Instead of focusing on a story that I was passionate about…. I made up a story that I thought would fit where I was trying to make it fit. — I have been trying to write in a way that hasn’t been true to me or who I am. I have been trying to write a book about something that I have zero passion for. I didn’t get lost in my characters & their lives like I should have. I tried… you’ll see that in posts prior to this one, but I think deep down my heart was never really in it. I’m the writer, & I wasn’t even interested in them. I’m still not interested in them. I tried to be… it just didn’t work.

Honestly, I was so worried about the readers I would alienate if I didn’t try to find some way to pull them in, that I made up a story that I thought would fit in several different boxes. — Only, it didn’t make me happy… & I’ve struggled to write it.

A few nights ago, I was outside enjoying the cold night air & listening to some music (My favorite way to relax & to just think, btw) & some characters & a story that goes along with them popped into my head. — That may seem strange to someone who doesn’t think in stories like I do, Lol, I’m not crazy, I promise. It’s just the writer in me. These characters weren’t strangers. Their story is one I thought of a while back & considered writing. Only… it’s a love story… which I thought at the time just wasn’t good enough. — I was wrong.

So I’ve made a decision to change course.

I’m going to write it. I’m going to write my romance-y book & forget all about the people who dislike romance in their books. If that is the case, then I may not be the author for them. & that’s okay. —- It just took me a long time to realize that it’s okay.

I decided to write my first book & then pieced a story together based off what I thought a majority would want to read. — & it hasn’t been working.

I thought if I changed what I was writing, that I was admitting failure. & maybe I am. I’m admitting that, for now, I have failed to make it work. But I started failing from the moment I began…. when I came up with an idea for all the wrong reasons.

If you’re a writer, then maybe you’ll understand what I’m about to say. Most of the time, we don’t choose the stories we tell… they choose us. & it’s those stories that are interweaved into who we are… and so we tell them. — With passion & with fire, we fall in love with what we’ve created as we share it with others.

So as much as I hate to even say it, because it makes me feel like a failure, I have to follow my heart. I screwed up in the beginning and even though I’m headed in the right direction now… I know there will be people who think I just couldn’t do it or that I’m just not dedicated. — That reality kills a little bit of the joy I have found & the confidence I have gained… but I won’t let it stop me.

So until next time,
Heather.