From Laundry To Walker Texas Ranger…

Aye Y’all.

I don’t really have anything to say. I thought I’d pop in because it’s been a minute… Like a week or so… & I wanted to say Hey.

My  husband & I went camping for a few days earlier this week & although I took my laptop.. I never even opened it. But alas, I’m opening now!

So I’mma tell y’all some random nonsense from my day. — You’re welcome. 😀

I couldn’t find my pencil bag earlier. Y’all know the ones you used to get in school to hold all your pens, pencils, markers & such? They have the holes and you can snap it into a binder and you’re all good? — I have one of those. I keep my pens, sticky note pads, small notebooks, and things like that in there. I also keep my little thumb drive in it. So it’s vital to my success. — Anyhow, I found it……. under a pile of clean laundry I dumped into the recliner earlier. Yes, I took it out of the dryer & dropped it into the chair like a good little procrastinater. & we’re not going to talk about that other load of laundry that’s still hanging out in the dryer either. Nope… it is of no importance. Y’all go on ahead and put it out of your mind… I already have. — Laundry? What Laundry? 😀

I watched an episode of Bonanza tonight at Mombie & Papa’s. Then an episode of Walker Texas Ranger immediately following that. It made me smile. I remember watching those shows as a kid because my mom watched them. & not as a kid because I was a kid when they came out… I’m one of those dreadful millennials the world warns you all of…. No, they were definitely re-runs from when I was either not born yet or… aged 2 til 10. (Yes, I just googled Walker Texas Ranger’s run time. Don’t judge me. 😀 ) — Anyhow… it was nostalgic & makes me wanna binge some Walker. — The heart wants what the heart wants…. & it wants the eyes of a ranger upon me. — Except not in a creepy way…. that definitely sounds sorta creepy and stalker-like. — No, I mean in a walker texas ranger way. He’s no creepy stalker. He’s the one that will take out your creepy stalkers. — Ya know what? I’m just gonna stop now. This is getting away from me. I have no idea what I’m saying right now.

Also, I cleaned my shower today. Tho I’m sure none of you care… I did indeed do so. — Does that now give me a free pass for failing to fold and put away laundry? I feel like it does. I’m going with yes.

Anyhow. I’m gonna skip out of here & do a little writing. (Not this writing, work writing.) & then go climb in bed & crash with my favorite husband & my favorite pup. I only have one of each of those, just to clarify. In case any of you thought I was collecting husbands and puppies. Tho collecting puppies does have its merits. 😀

See y’all soon!

 

With Love,
Heather!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Update — Big Change.

The title says it all.

I have, for the foreseeable future, tabled the book I have been working on.

When I decided to write my first book I didn’t realize that I was going to get lost in the mechanics of it all, so to speak. I didn’t know at the time that I was going to let genre choices, people, expectations, and pressure dictate the story I told. — But that’s exactly what I did.

Instead of focusing on a story that I was passionate about…. I made up a story that I thought would fit where I was trying to make it fit. — I have been trying to write in a way that hasn’t been true to me or who I am. I have been trying to write a book about something that I have zero passion for. I didn’t get lost in my characters & their lives…. I’m the writer, & I wasn’t even interested in them. I’m still not interested in them.

Honestly, I was so worried about the readers I would alienate if I didn’t try to find some way to pull them in, that I made up a story that I thought would fit in several different boxes. — Only, it didn’t make me happy… & I’ve struggled to write it.

A few nights ago, I was outside enjoying the cold night air & listening to some music (My favorite way to relax & to just think, btw) & some characters & a story that goes along with them popped into my head. — That may seem strange to someone who doesn’t think in stories like I do, Lol, I’m not crazy, I promise. It’s just the writer in me. These characters weren’t strangers. Their story is one I thought of a while back & considered writing. Only… it’s more along the lines of a tragic love story… which I thought at the time just wasn’t good enough. — I was wrong.

So I’ve made a decision to change course.

I’m going to write it. I’m going to write my romance-y book & forget all about the people who dislike romance in their books. If that is the case, then I may not be the author for them. & that’s okay. —- It just took me a long time to realize that it’s okay.

I decided to write my first book & then pieced a story together based off what I thought a majority would want to read. — & it hasn’t been working.

I thought if I changed what I was writing, that I was admitting failure. & maybe I am. I’m admitting that, for now, I have failed to make it work. But I started failing from the moment I began…. when I came up with an idea for all the wrong reasons.

If you’re a writer, then maybe you’ll understand what I’m about to say. Most of the time, we don’t choose the stories we tell… they choose us. & it’s those stories that are interweaved into who we are… and so we tell them. — With passion & with fire, we fall in love with what we’ve created as we share it with others.

So as much as I hate to even say it, because it makes me feel like a failure, I have to follow my heart. I screwed up in the beginning and even though I’m headed in the right direction now… I know there will be people who think I just couldn’t do it or that I’m just not dedicated. — That reality kills a little bit of the joy I have found & the confidence I have gained… but I won’t let it stop me.

So until next time,
Heather.

Red Warning Lights…

Red warning lights flashed on the dashboard. I wasn’t sure what they meant. So many were going off at the same time that I found it to be rather overwhelming. Which isn’t saying much considering how often I find myself feeling overwhelmed these days. — I did the only thing that made sense at the time. I got out of the car, walked a couple of miles down the road, looked for any sign of civilization, and then when I didn’t find any I turned around & went back to my car.

So there I sat. In my car, on a deserted road, with no cell phone coverage. — Just what I needed.

As that thought crossed my mind I finally saw a black car come into view over the hill-top behind me. Relief swept through me. About time.

As the car pulled up alongside me, a woman rolled the passenger window down, she and the man with her looked to be in their mid-fifties.

“Any way we could be of help to you sweetie?”she asked warmly. She seemed kind. Almost like Nell, my old next door neighbor. The kindest lady I’d ever met to date. That’s who she reminded me of. Nell.

“Actually, yeah, do you guys know how far I am from the next town?” I asked, taking the chance that they might be from around here or at least know where here is exactly.

The lady smiled real big & her face lite up. “Oh yeah, about 12 miles from here. We actually live not far from the main red light in town. We’d be happy to give you a lift if you need it. There aren’t many houses between here & there.”

“It wouldn’t be out of our way and we’d hate to leave you stranded,” her companion added, “we have daughters & I’d want someone to share the same kindness with them.”

I hesitated for a moment, maybe two, or it could have been ten. I contemplated the risks. These people could be psycho. I’ve seen the movies, heard the stories, watched the news. It’s not that far-fetched.

I weighted my options, asked a question or two more (mostly about their daughters & the kind of town that was up ahead,) It really wasn’t a hard decision considering.

“Sure! I’d really appreciate it and it beats being stranded here over night.” Because I really had to face it, the sun would be going down soon. Who knows what kind of person could happen upon me if I camp out in my car.

“Great!” she said brightly. As her husband got out of the car & opened the door for me, I grabbed a few of my things from my car & got in.

It was the last thing they ever did. — Just like it was with Nell all those years ago, proof that kindness can get you killed.

— Writing Challenge: Start a sentence with “Red warning lights flashed on the dashboard.” —

I am almost proud of this story. I was so excited when I typed the last few lines. — However I feel that fading…

Was it predictable? I don’t know. Was it the ending everyone saw coming? I don’t know. — I didn’t see it coming until I got to the last two lines & wrote it! — But all I can think of is how I felt when I was 15 & a teacher told me that my writing was, “too predictable to make it.” & then turned to the person next to me & told them that they were an extremely talented writer.. To this day I can’t forget that. — Did it mean I lack talent? Did it mean that I can’t make it? Why can’t I shake it off? Why can’t I just think enough of myself to cancel those words out? — I need too, I know that.

-heather!