Not Everything Changes..

I recently moved about an hour from the town I’ve lived in my entire life.

Bought a house, moved further away from family, shop in completely different towns now. Every thing is different. There is so much change. — & I am a creature of habit for sure.

It’s been stressful. It’s been strange. it’s been fun & exciting too… there are pros and cons galore. Our dog has been adjusting… she is also a creature of habit. She’s now a bigger baby than she was before… tho I didn’t think that was possible before now.. ;). Life’s just been different.

I used to live out in the country. No neighbors nearby. Now I live.. well, still sorta out in the country… just in a subdivision with a ton of neighbors. They are lovely people… but it’s still different for someone who has never really had so many people around all the time.

Back at my old home.,.. I used to sit outside at night, under the stars, in the dark… turn some music on, close my eyes, & let all of the stress and anxieties of life just slip away for a while. — It has always been my de-stresser. The one thing that kept me going when life got tough. Somehow.. it just does wonders for my soul. I always feel more at peace afterwards. It’s my thing. πŸ™‚

Since I moved… oh, like 4 months ago, that has not happened. Not even once. Suddenly there are neighbors every where… I don’t want to disturb them somehow… I also watch a lot of Dateline… & well… I don’t want to show up on an episode of that… lol. So I just haven’t bothered to sit outside at 2 am cause.. well, it’s all so different here.

Tonight tho… I did just that. Went outside, popped my headphones in, leaned back in a chair, & let all my worries wash away for a while.

It was fantastic. Absolutely amazing. & Oh how I had missed it so much.

Sometimes things all around us change. Life becomes different & unfamiliar. We create new normals & move in all sorts of directions. It’s always full of happiness & excitement… but it also has it’s downsides… it can be uncomfortable & difficult too. But when everything around you changes… there are still some things that will always stay the same.

For me.. that’s washing away stress under the stars after midnight. For you, I’m sure it’s something else entirely. But it’s nice… that despite all the changes in life… some things are just a part of who we are. πŸ™‚

Cake! :D

I could be sleeping right now.. I am crazy tired… & yet, here I sit binge watching Cake Wars. — Also… now I’m hungry… & I want cake. Lots & lots of cake. πŸ˜€ Β — Clearly, I’m just gonna have to take myself to the grocery store tomorrow & get some cake…. because, well, it’s delicious of course. πŸ˜€

When The Food Goes Missing…

I don’t have the first interesting thing to write about. But I am attempting to make an effort to write every day & toss out at least one blog post a day. — So I am just going to tell you whatever comes to mind. — πŸ™‚

Okay.. so, something super random… Β  — My sweet, adorable, furry, cute-as-pie, black labrador… likes to snitch things off of plates & counter tops when one’s back is turned. — You’d think… with that cute-as-pie & as innocent as they come little face that she has…. she’d never do such a thing. — Well.. my friends, that is not the case. She is indeed a furry little food thief! πŸ˜€ — French fries, sandwiches, burgers…. & my husband’s little sausage biscuits he likes to have for breakfast… haha.. okay, that one is actually pretty funny. Looking like a little chipmunk with her cheeks all puffed out full of biscuit…. lol… if that doesn’t brighten one’s day I don’t know what could.. πŸ˜‰ Β — Anyhow… she’s adorable… but… this life of crime she’s living… shame, shame on her I say. πŸ˜€ — Seriously tho.. how are there people who don’t like dogs? — All that adorableness sure is hard to resist if you ask me. πŸ˜‰


I Get A Little Honest Here…

So… here’s the thing.

I have been absent. I have not written a word in months. Not here, on my blog, or there, on my book. — I have been completely off the writing map. Not one written word… well, not one that wasn’t some Facebook or Instagram post, that is… πŸ˜‰ .

You see.. I have been intimidated. I have been scared. I have been insecure. I have been lost. I have been too afraid to write one single word anywhere about anything. Because… self-doubt. Because… insecurity. Because… intimidation. — Because if I’m being honest… on my best days.. I still struggle to believe in myself. I still struggle to believe that I have talent or that I am capable of stringing words together that make even a little bit of sense when I’m finished. — & that, my friends, is on my best days.

So on my worst days… it is far worse than that. On my worst days… I don’t just struggle to believe in myself… I just plain don’t believe in myself. I don’t even try on my worst days. I throw in the towel before the sun even rises. Like… not today guys, not today. Β I don’t have it in me to try. I don’t have it in me to pump myself up for this. I feel like a failure & I will just sit here and wallow in it & make no attempt to feel any better about any of it. ——- Β On my worst days… I give up. I am no longer in my own corner. I abandon post & take off. Because why? Because on my worst days… when I feel like the world’s biggest failure… I accept that. I say to myself, ya know what? It is what it is. I cannot do this, I cannot do anything, & so I just quit.

Intimidation. I am intimidated by my own self doubt, other people’s success, & the devil himself. Let me tell you something guys… I am being so incredibly honest with you right now. When someone else succeeds… and I mean just does something so incredibly amazing…. I can hear that little voice whisper.. “and what have you done, hmm? Look at them, taking the world by storm… and you… you haven’t even left the gate yet. What does that say about you, Heather? You’re a failure. A disappointment. Why do you even bother? You’re only making a fool of yourself.”

See… I know pride is like the downfall of man and all… but I still have some. & it grates & it drives me crazy to admit to that. To say that out loud, write it down, with every intention of sharing it with the world-wide web…. just what I think of myself on my worst days. — Because here’s the thing… It’s pretty bad to feel that way about yourself sometimes… but that other people, someone else, may be thinking or saying the same things of you… that hits that little bit of pride that I have right smack in the face. — & guys… I’ve heard it. Things very similar. I know there are people who have expressed doubt about me, my life, my future. — It hurts. It sucks. & it sticks with a person.

But here is the thing… because I’m going somewhere with this. I think.. πŸ˜‰ .

It can’t just be me. In a world filled with so many people… I can’t be the only one that feels this way on their worst days. I can’t be the only person that is intimidated by the world & struggles to believe in themselves. I can’t be the only person out there that feels like a disappointment or a failure. I can’t be by myself in this. Which also means… that whoever you are & wherever you are…. you and I, we are not alone. & I just want to say… I get it. I feel you. You have something in common with a complete stranger… but even so, this is one stranger that understands the struggle. — You are not alone. — & sometimes there is just something about knowing that someone else gets it. — & I get it!

So I’mma keep moving forward. I’m sure it will continue to be riddled with ups and downs, best days & worst days, Confidence & self-doubt… but I do not go it alone. I go it with Jesus & then however many people are right there in the same boat with me.

So here’s to pushing past those “worst” days & reveling in those “best” days. —

May the “best days” be with you.. ? Eh… well.. lol… little Star Wars thing I just did there… yeah, I won’t do that anymore. my bad. I apologize.. πŸ˜‰




Hey Y’all!

Hey y’all!

Couple Things. 1. It’s after 2 a.m. & I’m cleaning the bathroom. Cause, well, Β I’m what one would call a procrastinator & it’s what we do. πŸ˜€

2. This is me procrastinating even further by taking what I like to call a “cleaning break.” Don’t wanna overdo it… that’d just be irresponsible.. πŸ˜‰

3. Ya ever creep on people on social media? (& don’t pretend like you don’t, I know… I know you do… Lol, it is what’s done. πŸ˜‰ — Anyhow, ever check people out on there & see what all they have going on & realize that they need your advice… But like, you can’t give it to em’ cause, well, then you’d have a lot of explaining to do! Lol!! — Yep. That’s actually kind of funny. πŸ˜€

4. I like to get a glass of wine, a good book, & a bubble bath throw it all together &… well, not like, actually throw any of it in the bath, but you see where I’m going here. It’s nice & relaxing. & well, that leaves books scattered all over our bathroom over time & my husband complains about it… lol. It’s kinda funny, I think. Anyhow, I just took em all out of here… 11! 11 Total. Tho I did leave one of those 11 cause I’m still reading it. Anyhow… that’s practically a little bookshelf. A teeny tiny one, but still. I could run a library out of here. Anybody wanna check out a book?! πŸ˜€

5. I’m going camping in October. I think I should mention that I hate camping, ya know, so that you get the full picture here. Lol. –So if I don’t get eaten by a bear, traumatized by the lack of personal shower/bathroom, or simply go insane… it could maybe be fun! πŸ˜€ — I went once & it was a disaster. The bright side here, is it will be much cooler than when I went last time. That was right smack dab in the middle of July & I bout died. I’m a heat hater, for real. — So, fingers crossed that the cooler weather makes it a more enjoyable experience! — I should mention, I’m doing this for my husband. It was technically my idea, buuutttttt, I could have simply rented a hotel room, instead, I knew how much he’d love a camping trip… so I made the sacrifice. — Look at me, I should get a little plaque that says, “Best Wife Ever” to hang on our wall. Ha! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

6. My foot has fallen asleep, as it has apparently noticed it’s nearly 3 a.m, while the rest of me seems to have missed that memo. Ya know, the one about sleeping. πŸ˜‰

Anyhow… talk to you all later! πŸ˜‰
Heather. πŸ˜€

So This Happened…

When you’re sitting in your living room, staring at your lap top with a pretty tough case of writer’s block going on, feeling like a failure… & you see a rain frog hopping around in your living room…. what do you do?

You save its life & feel like a hero. That’s what you do!

So, who’s feeling like a failure now, I ask? Not me, I just saved a life.

A tiny little life that apparently thought I was attempting to do it tremendous harm & therefore made me give chase all around the furniture in the room…. but no matter, the important thing here is that I saved a life. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰


To Write & Ramble…

Can’t sleep.

So I think I’ll write.

Don’t wanna tho. Wanna sleep. Only because I have to get up early & I know I’m gonna hate life in the am.

So I have reasoned that if I’m going to be awake, I might as well be productive while I’m awake. Soooooooo…. Yep. Bout to write the night away. Not on here tho, I have a book to work on…. which technically means instead of sleeping I’m going to be working. — See, now it’s not starting to sound as fun as it did a minute ago. Look what I did. I turned this into something ugly.

Okay, seriously. I need to stop rambling on like this, lol. There is work to be done. πŸ˜€

See ya guys later! πŸ™‚