Tag Archives: Progress

With Pen & Paper….

It feels so incredibly good to spend hours with a pen & a notebook.

Typing is great. Flipping open my laptop and writing away the time is good stuff.

However, there is still nothing quite like writing with pen & paper.

I just filled page after page with notes, characters, & plot details. — & for me, doing that on paper is so much more enjoyable than typing it up. — Eventually I have to bust out the laptop for almost all the book writing… but in the beginning stages, before the real story writing begins….. you’ll always find me with a pen & paper.

Book Update: It’s going really well! I’m just getting started, but I’m definitely off & running. — I’ll keep you guys updated. But I think for sure, one of the best things I’ve done lately was deciding to follow my heart & instinct on this whole book change thing. — I’ve known these characters and their stories for years… I just never thought that was the type of writer I should be or the type of genre I should be in. — A tragic love story was never the road I thought I should travel down. But in these characters and that of their family & friends, I have the ability to breathe the life into them that I’ve always known was there. — That’s exciting and it’s even a bit magical. — How could I possibly pass on that?

Book Update — Big Change.

The title says it all.

I have, for the foreseeable future, tabled the book I have been working on.

When I decided to write my first book I didn’t realize that I was going to get lost in the mechanics of it all, so to speak. I didn’t know at the time that I was going to let genre choices, people, expectations, and pressure dictate the story I told. — But that’s exactly what I did.

Instead of focusing on a story that I was passionate about…. I made up a story that I thought would fit where I was trying to make it fit. — I have been trying to write in a way that hasn’t been true to me or who I am. I have been trying to write a book about something that I have zero passion for. I didn’t get lost in my characters & their lives like I should have. I tried… you’ll see that in posts prior to this one, but I think deep down my heart was never really in it. I’m the writer, & I wasn’t even interested in them. I’m still not interested in them. I tried to be… it just didn’t work.

Honestly, I was so worried about the readers I would alienate if I didn’t try to find some way to pull them in, that I made up a story that I thought would fit in several different boxes. — Only, it didn’t make me happy… & I’ve struggled to write it.

A few nights ago, I was outside enjoying the cold night air & listening to some music (My favorite way to relax & to just think, btw) & some characters & a story that goes along with them popped into my head. — That may seem strange to someone who doesn’t think in stories like I do, Lol, I’m not crazy, I promise. It’s just the writer in me. These characters weren’t strangers. Their story is one I thought of a while back & considered writing. Only… it’s a love story… which I thought at the time just wasn’t good enough. — I was wrong.

So I’ve made a decision to change course.

I’m going to write it. I’m going to write my romance-y book & forget all about the people who dislike romance in their books. If that is the case, then I may not be the author for them. & that’s okay. —- It just took me a long time to realize that it’s okay.

I decided to write my first book & then pieced a story together based off what I thought a majority would want to read. — & it hasn’t been working.

I thought if I changed what I was writing, that I was admitting failure. & maybe I am. I’m admitting that, for now, I have failed to make it work. But I started failing from the moment I began…. when I came up with an idea for all the wrong reasons.

If you’re a writer, then maybe you’ll understand what I’m about to say. Most of the time, we don’t choose the stories we tell… they choose us. & it’s those stories that are interweaved into who we are… and so we tell them. — With passion & with fire, we fall in love with what we’ve created as we share it with others.

So as much as I hate to even say it, because it makes me feel like a failure, I have to follow my heart. I screwed up in the beginning and even though I’m headed in the right direction now… I know there will be people who think I just couldn’t do it or that I’m just not dedicated. — That reality kills a little bit of the joy I have found & the confidence I have gained… but I won’t let it stop me.

So until next time,
Heather.

Work, Work, Work…

I just want to put this out there. — There is a lot of work in creating a fictional town & military base. :O

It goes without saying that Tolkien was something of a creative mastermind, Lol.. what with his fictional world, languages, & history. — Oh, if only I could sit down & have a chat with him.

On the bright side, I’m getting a good bit accomplished. I sort of started writing the first couple chapters of my book with the idea in my head for where it takes place… but then I noticed that the more I wrote the harder it was getting to visualize. — So now I’m backtracking to actually creating some of these places.

Anyhow, I’m going to get back to it. (& my Pretty Little Liars marathon on Netflix… Lol, don’t judge.. 😉 )

-Heather! (:

We’ve All Been There..

Somebody is doing something that is driving us absolutely insane. We just want to give them a great big piece of our mind. — Forget having respect for others & forget trying to be the bigger person, we just want to let it all out. — That little angel is hanging out on one shoulder & that little devil on the other… and if we are being completely honest, whatever that little devil is whispering is sounding pretty good.

The struggle is real and we have all been there. It’s a tough place to be. Anger & frustration mixed with knowing right from wrong can sometimes be a huge battle. There are days where I have wanted to just let it all go and be like, “Hey you, let me tell you what I think!” Lol, now I know that’s not the right thing to do. — Words spoken out of anger can be very damaging & can never be taken back. — That’s a big deal.

At 23, I know I don’t have the whole world figured out. I know I’m not the wisest of the wise. I also know that being the bigger person doesn’t always make you feel very good… even if it is the right thing to do.

I like to be honest with myself. So I can’t sit here & pretend like I’m not angry. I can’t sit here & pretend like I’m not irritated. I can’t say what I’m thinking because it wouldn’t be appropriate. However that doesn’t change the fact that I’m angry & irritated… and that my friends, just makes me more frustrated. Lol, isn’t that something? — So what to do?

I don’t have a clue. I’m here writing this because some part of me has to. — That’s why I love being a writer. Expressing myself, having this outlet… it’s probably my favorite thing about writing. — I can turn the anger & frustration into a passion that is useful. It’s a little piece of something beautiful in the midst of all the ugliness. — I like that. 🙂

So when you find yourself feeling this way again… I hope you’ll write about it. Take a pen & some paper, a computer & keyboard, or even a crayon & a napkin… whatever is nearby, and write about it. Put all those feelings and frustrations down on paper. No one ever has to see it if you don’t want them to. — If for nothing else, do it for yourself. If it helps, then great. If not, well you tried… and you get an A for effort in my book. — Also, tell somebody. Choose wisely & tell someone you trust, but tell somebody.

I don’t have all the answers. We’ve all been there & we’ll all be there again. My advice: Write it down & find a friend. & maybe say a prayer or two… for yourself & them. 🙂

A sincere.. but frustrated,
-hmthreatte!

My First Comment

Okay so this may sound really sad, but I am actually pretty proud of myself. I made my first comment on someone else’s post. Yay me! I know I’ve been blogging for several months now so it shouldn’t have taken this long. I’ve just been so worried about conflict or it going all wrong somehow. — Don’t get me wrong, I know there are super nice people out there on social sites and what not, I’ve just also seen my fair share of the hate.

I almost didn’t comment… out of habit. However I am trying to do better & though a simple little comment may not seem like much, for me, it was progress. — I didn’t comment on anything controversial or make any sort of off the wall comment. It was just simple and easy going. My kind of conversing if we’re being honest. — I’ve just seen where people have said the most innocent things & it turned into some sort of hate war or something. That definitely terrifies me.

I can’t let fear get in the way. I’ve spent my entire life doing just that and quite frankly, I don’t like it and I’m getting to a place in my life where I’m feeling more prepared to do something about that.

So I’ve made my first WordPress comment (made on someone else’s post, I have replied to a few on my own posts.) where I initiated contact. — I could definitely get used to this! Yay me! 🙂

-hmthreatte!