Tag Archives: Positive

Ignore Em’ — All of Em’

It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything here that wasn’t about my general life or book updates. — But I’m gonna toss one of those posts out real quick. — It’s deeper and heavier and a little more serious than the usual. — But when I was working out earlier… it’s just something that was really weighing on me… and I just want to talk about it. — So let’s talk.

“God only know’s what you’ve been through. God only knows what they say about you. God only knows the real you. There’s a kind of love that God only knows.” — This song by For King & Country, which isn’t part of my usual work-out mix, started playing and it just hit me so hard.

I went through a lot of personal and spiritual growth last year, but before that… my life was very different from what it is today. — I was broken. Afraid. Miserable. Crippled by fear. Lost. Alone. Drowning. I was carrying some very heavy burdens. — I was wrapped up in chains. So very many of them.

And I could cry, just sitting here writing this, because I’m not anymore. I’m none of those things anymore. — I know freedom and peace that I’ve never known in all my life. — And this isn’t me preaching about salvation. I knew God long before last year. — That changed nothing about the chains I was wrapped up in. — This post is about something else entirely. — It’s about those lyrics I just typed a couple of paragraphs up.

I spent my entire childhood, teen, and young adult years coming up short. Hell, I’m still coming up short. — Family members, people who claimed to love me in one breath when speaking to my face… turned to breathe ugliness and hatred about me in the next breath to other people. — And not just one. Multiple. Multiple family members. Multiple sides of families. — And that hasn’t changed today. Families grow and take different shapes over the years… So I’ve acquired some more along the way. Some good, kind, and really supportive people… and some of just the opposite.

But this post isn’t about them. It’s still about those lyrics up there.

Those people got to me. It bothered me. For so very long, I cared so very much what people thought. — I cared when people thought I was a disappointment. I cared when people talked bad about me. I cared when they treated me differently. I cared when they didn’t understand, but they judged me anyway. — I cared so much. And I let that define me.

But the thing is guys… People might think they know what you’ve been through. They might think they know the real you. — And they will say all sorts of things about you. Think all sorts of things about you. — But none of those things matter. None of those opinions matter. — And they never will.

We’re only human though. And for some, like myself, we end up surrounded by people like that very early on. Our lives are filled with people who think less of us. With people that look down on us. — It hurts. Life is already hard without people piling on.

I just couldn’t let today pass without saying this. — If you can relate. Please hear me when I say this. — Ignore them. All of them. Every last one. — Your worth is not found in the opinions of other people. You are not defined by what anyone thinks or says of you. Ever. — You’re value is worth far more than the insignificant opinions of others. — And their opinions are insignificant. — Don’t give place to the misunderstood and/or hateful words and thoughts of others. — Ignore them. Every last one.

See, this post isn’t about those people. — It’s about the people fighting to keep their heads up, the people who are drowning in a sea of harsh judgments and misguided opinions.

Whatever your story. Whoever you are. — Know your worth. And know that it’s not found in other people. — You’re far more valuable than you realize… don’t let anyone steal that away from you.

And for the people in your life that are your people… the ones that are for you, at the end of every day, no matter what… hug those people a little tighter. 🙂 Surround yourself with them and then shut out the rest of the voices.

I wish I’d known how much those opinions never mattered. I wish I’d known before 27 years old. I wish I’d known before I’d let them seep into my soul and reside there. — Last year I kicked them out. And I remind myself anytime they crop up in any way…. that there’s only One that defines me. And I already know what He says. And it’s the opposite of what they say. So why would I listen to them, when He created the entire universe? — I think not.

I know my worth now. And it’s my hope that everyone that reads this knows theirs too. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Diving Back In… 

Okay! So for the first time in months… & I do mean months, many, many months.. 😉 … I have busted out the lap top & writing basket. (That’s what I call it, 😀.. the writing basket, lol holds all my notes and fun stuff like that.. 😉.) Anyhow… it’s hard, it’s a lot of work, & kinda scary… feels a little daunting.. ya know? Cause a book is so big… ya start thinking about all those little pieces.. how you build something so big.. one word at a time… & honestly I almost wanna run screaming in the other direction. 😀. — But there is only one way to get this creation written down… & that’s one word at a time. & there’s only one person who can tell this story… And then tell all the ones to follow it… & that’s me. Cause I’ve created it and I’m the only one who can know it like I do. — So God help me, (that was a legit plea to God btw.. 😂.) Cause I’m diving back in! ❤

Book Update — Big Change.

The title says it all.

I have, for the foreseeable future, tabled the book I have been working on.

When I decided to write my first book I didn’t realize that I was going to get lost in the mechanics of it all, so to speak. I didn’t know at the time that I was going to let genre choices, people, expectations, and pressure dictate the story I told. — But that’s exactly what I did.

Instead of focusing on a story that I was passionate about…. I made up a story that I thought would fit where I was trying to make it fit. — I have been trying to write in a way that hasn’t been true to me or who I am. I have been trying to write a book about something that I have zero passion for. I didn’t get lost in my characters & their lives like I should have. I tried… you’ll see that in posts prior to this one, but I think deep down my heart was never really in it. I’m the writer, & I wasn’t even interested in them. I’m still not interested in them. I tried to be… it just didn’t work.

Honestly, I was so worried about the readers I would alienate if I didn’t try to find some way to pull them in, that I made up a story that I thought would fit in several different boxes. — Only, it didn’t make me happy… & I’ve struggled to write it.

A few nights ago, I was outside enjoying the cold night air & listening to some music (My favorite way to relax & to just think, btw) & some characters & a story that goes along with them popped into my head. — That may seem strange to someone who doesn’t think in stories like I do, Lol, I’m not crazy, I promise. It’s just the writer in me. These characters weren’t strangers. Their story is one I thought of a while back & considered writing. Only… it’s a love story… which I thought at the time just wasn’t good enough. — I was wrong.

So I’ve made a decision to change course.

I’m going to write it. I’m going to write my romance-y book & forget all about the people who dislike romance in their books. If that is the case, then I may not be the author for them. & that’s okay. —- It just took me a long time to realize that it’s okay.

I decided to write my first book & then pieced a story together based off what I thought a majority would want to read. — & it hasn’t been working.

I thought if I changed what I was writing, that I was admitting failure. & maybe I am. I’m admitting that, for now, I have failed to make it work. But I started failing from the moment I began…. when I came up with an idea for all the wrong reasons.

If you’re a writer, then maybe you’ll understand what I’m about to say. Most of the time, we don’t choose the stories we tell… they choose us. & it’s those stories that are interweaved into who we are… and so we tell them. — With passion & with fire, we fall in love with what we’ve created as we share it with others.

So as much as I hate to even say it, because it makes me feel like a failure, I have to follow my heart. I screwed up in the beginning and even though I’m headed in the right direction now… I know there will be people who think I just couldn’t do it or that I’m just not dedicated. — That reality kills a little bit of the joy I have found & the confidence I have gained… but I won’t let it stop me.

So until next time,
Heather.

Common Problems of the Dysfunctional Reader…

I am about to attempt something crazy… quite possibly unheard of, even.

I have just cleaned up my Kindle app & dismissed the books that I’ve already completed. That’s when I noticed it. — There are 48 unread/half-read books still lingering about. 48. That’s nearly 50! (Lol, look at me stating the obvious.) & If I’m correct… I do believe I have exactly 4 unfinished paper back novels sitting around the house. — Somebody needs to read the books she already has before she purchases more… Lol. (Haha, don’t tell my husband I have quite so many… he’ll give me the look. lol The “you spent all that money on those books & haven’t read them?… Wait a minute, I just watched you buy a new book the other day! What are you, some sort of book hoarder… that doesn’t even read the books?!” Look. — (Funny how so much can be said in just one look! — 🙂

So, I’m going to attempt what?
That crazy thing that may actually prove to be quite difficult for me.

I’m going to try & read all the books I already have… before getting another one!

I know that must seem like a pretty easy thing to do. It’s just I have this bad habit of scrolling around & seeing books that look interesting…. soooo, naturally I get it & then I’m already so interested in this new story I’ve found I put the current one down & forget to go back to it later. I’m so easily distracted, Lol!  — Ya know, really, that’s just a compliment to all the authors that write so great they hook me & real me in before I even have a chance to stop myself. Lol, see…. it’s not even my fault. — They shouldn’t write so well & then I wouldn’t have this problem! 😉

Now in my defense, several of the books that are half-read were probably left unfinished because it turned out not to be my thing. — It happens. Those I will probably just never read. & truthfully, some of them were most likely free in the genre I was checking out that day & I got it to try it out. — Sometimes that works out. I can’t tell you how many times I bought a free or discounted book & loved it so much I ended up buying & reading a ton of those authors books afterwards. — I love when that happens. — Unfortunately, sometimes it goes the other way. — So some of these books will go in the never to be finished category. — But not most of them. Lol, I paid for these bad boys… I’m going to read them! (Not to mention that most of them that I started were good, I just got a wee bit distracted.. 🙂  )

So…. we shall see how it goes.
I am challenging myself. — No new books until I’ve read the ones I have.

(This should be interesting….. )

-Heather! 🙂

Another Book Update

Alright y’all… I’m going to be honest. I haven’t worked on my book in a while. — I know I should do better, it’s just lately I don’t have the drive I had a couple months ago. — That happens sometimes. Either I feel overwhelmed or I have no ideas really flowing and I just stop.

I’m going to get started again, I’m feeling like writing lately… which is definitely a good thing. Though that also means you guys may see more blog posts. — Hopefully I can keep you all entertained. 🙂

Oh & I actually told someone I’m writing! — When I was asked what I am up to, I said I am writing a book. (I left out the part about having not worked on it very hard the last month or so though.. lol) So, want to know who I shared that with? — My dental hygienist… who then proceeded to tell my dentist, Yep… that’s right… the first time I tell a stranger, it’s while I’m getting my teeth cleaned. Go figure. — Lol, they wished me lots of luck though and didn’t look at me like I’m crazy… so that’s a plus. 🙂

Just thought I’d share that with y’all. 🙂
Thanks for reading!

-hmthreatte!