A Letter…

To the Christian person that says our feelings do not matter, that emotions have to be set aside as they may contradict faith & all things that are holy…. while I appreciate that you wish to further me along in my journey with Jesus… I would like to share a little something with you.

You have not walked, not even one moment, in my shoes. You have absolutely no idea of the depths that I have descended to. You have no idea of the pain & suffering I’ve survived. You have not a clue how lost & broken a soul I have been. You were not there when I lost the battles. You were not there when I was lost in all the surrounding chaos. You have no idea how far down rock bottom was when the fight went out in me.

You do not know me. You do not know my heart. You did not pick me back up. You did not come to me in my darkest hours & comfort me. You did not show me hope & love when I no longer believed in either of them. You did not restore my faith. You played no part in my healing. You did not even know I was broken. — God did. He knew. He showed up pouring out nothing but love & concern. He cared what I felt. He cared how lost I was. He cared about my pain, my suffering, & my broken spirit. I was wrapped up in all sorts of emotions & feelings. & He cared.

You can come to me all day long & say that I should set aside my feelings as they do not matter in the grand scheme of things. I’ve even heard it said that it’s selfish to focus only on one’s pain, rather than on what God has said. You can try to educate me all day long on the subject…. but the facts remain the same.

You were not on the floor with me the night I landed on it, writhing in an emotional pain I was apparently not allowed to feel.  I cried & I cried & I said, ” I’m all alone. No one understands. They don’t care. Life is beating me to pieces & I’m all by myself.” & I heard God respond… (Mind you the same God that I had known for years. The same One I had been angry with. The same One I yelled at in all my rage & confusion… because in all my honesty here… I was nothing, if not honest with Him too.) I heard the same very God tell me I was not alone. He said I’m here. I care. I love you. — He reached out to His broken child & He said, I’ve got you. — That is a God that cares. — Sure… He also can’t & won’t tolerate sin… but that does not make Him an uncaring God when His children are broken.

So while I appreciate that you are attempting to help & enlighten me… I remember all too well what it was like to feel like my suffering did not matter. People will descend further into an abyss when they feel no one cares. To stress to them… that the God that loves them more than we could ever comprehend… does not care about their feelings, only their faith…. is not something I will participate in. — You may call me wrong. You may say that it’s cause I’m all up in my inappropriate feelings. & that’s okay. I am all up in my feelings. It’s hard not to be when I know somewhere out there is some broken someone who just needs someone to care.

Because I would rather that… than to abandon someone who, maybe just like me, has crumpled to the floor.. in an emotional agony they can’t handle anymore… by leaning down & saying, hey… I get that you’re upset right now…. but these feelings… you need to push them out-of-the-way… this is selfish… God’s not in the business of caring how you feel… it’s all about the faith. —– Because that is essentially what you have done. Whether you realize it or not, this is what they’ve heard. & I will not do that to another human being in turmoil. — I cannot.

So please understand, you can tell me all about this subject time & time again…. but you & I will never be on the same page about it. To be honest, it is what it is.

Yours Truly,




Not Everything Changes..

I recently moved about an hour from the town I’ve lived in my entire life.

Bought a house, moved further away from family, shop in completely different towns now. Every thing is different. There is so much change. — & I am a creature of habit for sure.

It’s been stressful. It’s been strange. it’s been fun & exciting too… there are pros and cons galore. Our dog has been adjusting… she is also a creature of habit. She’s now a bigger baby than she was before… tho I didn’t think that was possible before now.. ;). Life’s just been different.

I used to live out in the country. No neighbors nearby. Now I live.. well, still sorta out in the country… just in a subdivision with a ton of neighbors. They are lovely people… but it’s still different for someone who has never really had so many people around all the time.

Back at my old home.,.. I used to sit outside at night, under the stars, in the dark… turn some music on, close my eyes, & let all of the stress and anxieties of life just slip away for a while. — It has always been my de-stresser. The one thing that kept me going when life got tough. Somehow.. it just does wonders for my soul. I always feel more at peace afterwards. It’s my thing. 🙂

Since I moved… oh, like 4 months ago, that has not happened. Not even once. Suddenly there are neighbors every where… I don’t want to disturb them somehow… I also watch a lot of Dateline… & well… I don’t want to show up on an episode of that… lol. So I just haven’t bothered to sit outside at 2 am cause.. well, it’s all so different here.

Tonight tho… I did just that. Went outside, popped my headphones in, leaned back in a chair, & let all my worries wash away for a while.

It was fantastic. Absolutely amazing. & Oh how I had missed it so much.

Sometimes things all around us change. Life becomes different & unfamiliar. We create new normals & move in all sorts of directions. It’s always full of happiness & excitement… but it also has it’s downsides… it can be uncomfortable & difficult too. But when everything around you changes… there are still some things that will always stay the same.

For me.. that’s washing away stress under the stars after midnight. For you, I’m sure it’s something else entirely. But it’s nice… that despite all the changes in life… some things are just a part of who we are. 🙂

I Get A Little Honest Here…

So… here’s the thing.

I have been absent. I have not written a word in months. Not here, on my blog, or there, on my book. — I have been completely off the writing map. Not one written word… well, not one that wasn’t some Facebook or Instagram post, that is… 😉 .

You see.. I have been intimidated. I have been scared. I have been insecure. I have been lost. I have been too afraid to write one single word anywhere about anything. Because… self-doubt. Because… insecurity. Because… intimidation. — Because if I’m being honest… on my best days.. I still struggle to believe in myself. I still struggle to believe that I have talent or that I am capable of stringing words together that make even a little bit of sense when I’m finished. — & that, my friends, is on my best days.

So on my worst days… it is far worse than that. On my worst days… I don’t just struggle to believe in myself… I just plain don’t believe in myself. I don’t even try on my worst days. I throw in the towel before the sun even rises. Like… not today guys, not today.  I don’t have it in me to try. I don’t have it in me to pump myself up for this. I feel like a failure & I will just sit here and wallow in it & make no attempt to feel any better about any of it. ——-  On my worst days… I give up. I am no longer in my own corner. I abandon post & take off. Because why? Because on my worst days… when I feel like the world’s biggest failure… I accept that. I say to myself, ya know what? It is what it is. I cannot do this, I cannot do anything, & so I just quit.

Intimidation. I am intimidated by my own self doubt, other people’s success, & the devil himself. Let me tell you something guys… I am being so incredibly honest with you right now. When someone else succeeds… and I mean just does something so incredibly amazing…. I can hear that little voice whisper.. “and what have you done, hmm? Look at them, taking the world by storm… and you… you haven’t even left the gate yet. What does that say about you, Heather? You’re a failure. A disappointment. Why do you even bother? You’re only making a fool of yourself.”

See… I know pride is like the downfall of man and all… but I still have some. & it grates & it drives me crazy to admit to that. To say that out loud, write it down, with every intention of sharing it with the world-wide web…. just what I think of myself on my worst days. — Because here’s the thing… It’s pretty bad to feel that way about yourself sometimes… but that other people, someone else, may be thinking or saying the same things of you… that hits that little bit of pride that I have right smack in the face. — & guys… I’ve heard it. Things very similar. I know there are people who have expressed doubt about me, my life, my future. — It hurts. It sucks. & it sticks with a person.

But here is the thing… because I’m going somewhere with this. I think.. 😉 .

It can’t just be me. In a world filled with so many people… I can’t be the only one that feels this way on their worst days. I can’t be the only person that is intimidated by the world & struggles to believe in themselves. I can’t be the only person out there that feels like a disappointment or a failure. I can’t be by myself in this. Which also means… that whoever you are & wherever you are…. you and I, we are not alone. & I just want to say… I get it. I feel you. You have something in common with a complete stranger… but even so, this is one stranger that understands the struggle. — You are not alone. — & sometimes there is just something about knowing that someone else gets it. — & I get it!

So I’mma keep moving forward. I’m sure it will continue to be riddled with ups and downs, best days & worst days, Confidence & self-doubt… but I do not go it alone. I go it with Jesus & then however many people are right there in the same boat with me.

So here’s to pushing past those “worst” days & reveling in those “best” days. —

May the “best days” be with you.. ? Eh… well.. lol… little Star Wars thing I just did there… yeah, I won’t do that anymore. my bad. I apologize.. 😉




The Fight…

It’s a hard battle to fight, when you fight it alone, and no one even knows you’re at war.

A war within yourself, within your soul, and your spirit.

The whole world is clueless and all the while you’ve drawn your sword.

Despite that you fight alone, you hold your head up and you fight.

And you fight hard.

You fight for yourself, for your soul, and your spirit.

Will you be the victor, will you come out on top?

Or will you go down, another casualty?

No one can really know…

But take heart,

For one person with a lot of fight…

Is worth more than a thousand with none.

(Heather Threatte)

Random Orion

It’s random & you didn’t ask… but I’m going to share a little something about myself with you guys.

My favorite constellation is Orion. — I don’t know why. It’s just the one constellation I look for when I look up into the night sky. I look for it… and I smile. — I can only see it in the cooler months… which, in fact, may be part of why it’s my favorite. If I’m looking up at Orion, I’m doing so surrounded by the cold night air. — It’s always a moment in time that feels like perfection. — I can’t explain why, I don’t even know why, but I feel at peace when I look up & see Orion, (my) Hunter. — Haha, yes, it’s mine.

I’m a strange bird, yes? Lol.

Anyhow, random fact about Heather shared today? — Check! 🙂

Answers To Questions..

So I was asked a set of questions when I was nominated for a blogging award, which I really appreciated btw, and because I was nominated last year & have already done a post about it, I decided not to do the whole thing again, but that I’d do a post just to answer the questions that were asked of me. — Being courteous & all that good stuff! 🙂 Plus, gives me the chance to shamelessly talk about myself… 😉 — So here goes…!

1) What made you get into blogging?

That’s an easy one. I am a writer who is a little socially awkward & not very good with people. I lack a confidence in conversing & connecting with others. I am also kind of chicken about sharing my opinions & things. (mean people scare me, lol.) — I needed a way to help me break out of that. — I felt like blogging would be a step in the right direction. — I can honestly say that it has helped. — I still have a long way to go, but I’m getting there! 🙂 Slow & steady!  — I was also hoping I’d find a place where I could write & feel encouraged, which I felt would keep me encouraged to continue writing my book. — I still catch myself failing to work on it regularly, but I have gained a lot of confidence in my writing by blogging & the ever so kind bloggers I connect with. — You guys are awesome! 😀

2) What’s your favorite season?

— Winter. I love cold weather!

3) If you could describe yourself in three words, which words would you pick?

— Shy. Compassionate. Lost. — Shy because I most definitely am. Compassionate because I love people & my heart is always going out to others. & Lost, because I tend to feel like I’m getting swallowed up in the world.

4) What’s your favourite quote/saying?

— “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” -Gandhi! —

5) Nike or Adidas?

— If we are talking shoes… Nike. If we are talking apparel? I could go either way really! Lol.

6) Where would be your dream place to live?

— Somewhere cold. Lol, but to be more specific… probably somewhere there are mountains. Snow capped mountains? sign me up! Lol!

7) If you were a dictator, what laws would you make?

— Oh my! I’d be a horrible dictator! I am indecisive & super crazy caring & kind! Lol…. Can I be a dictator in a land of hippies? — Peace, Love, & Happiness… We’ll get us a national anthem going & everything! — I know, I know! I’ll pull a Donald Trump! — I will be the one in charge, but I will then hire a bunch of people to make all the decisions for me since I don’t know  anything about it! — Winning!! 😉

8) Do you have any regrets in life?

— A few, yeah. But don’t we all? I think that’s just one of those things that come with life itself.

9) Why did the chicken cross the road?

— I don’t know. But I saw one do it the other day! Not even joking… I tried to snap a picture, but by the time I pulled my phone out & got the camera up he had already made it to the other side. (I’m not making this up either! Lol!) There were three of them. One was hanging out in a yard, one was across the highway already on the other side, and one was smack dab in the middle of the road crossing over. — Lol… that chicken seemed to do it because the other chicken had done it already… Are chickens susceptible to peer pressure? I think maybe so. — So I think that’s my answer. Peer pressure made him do it! 😉

10) What’s more painful, childbirth or getting kicked in the balls?

— Well, I have yet to have children & I lack the anatomy that goes with the latter…. However… I’ve seen those t.v. shows where women give birth…. Childbirth for the win! Lol!

Brand Spankin’ New Idea!

That’s a catchy title, right? I feel like I just got an A+ on one of those 5th grade assignments where we used to have to come up with catchy titles & first sentences to draw readers in. – If by chance it didn’t work on you, please, spare my feelings & let me play pretend. 🙂

So about this new idea…..

I am going to challenge myself to write every single day. — I get in those moods where I just don’t write for a while or can’t think of a thing to say… and I just stumbled across some really good writing prompts, some of which should prove to be quite interesting. (Considering one is about majestic beasts, swat teams, & something else I don’t remember… Lol, either way, so far out of my realm, but should bring so much fun into it! )

Anyhow, I plan to work on one a day or so. Write a few paragraphs or something & just have fun with it. I feel like spicing up what I’m writing about everyday will help keep me from burning out on the same thing day in & day out. — I think a few pages or paragraphs of fun & some writing that is completely out of my zone is just what I need to keep it fresh. — So I’m going to give it a try at least. — All I want is to get in the habit of writing every single day & having wacky fun with it sometimes.

— Of course, I’m still working on writing my book, (I’m actually working on creating the fictional town it takes place in right now. — I’m going on my first little research trip in a couple of weeks… which is not only super exciting but will also help me nail down this fictional town and military base I’m working on, lol. Don’t want to write something entirely impossible & sound like a big dummy… 😉 — Once I finish that part I can get back to writing the story again. — But some fun little stuff in between will help me out I think.

I fully intend to share some of my little writing projects with you guys… so beware! Some may be entertaining, some may be boring, & there is a chance some may be down right terrifying.. 😉

I’m just excited to have some fun & I hope you guys tag along for the ride!