Not Everything Changes..

I recently moved about an hour from the town I’ve lived in my entire life.

Bought a house, moved further away from family, shop in completely different towns now. Every thing is different. There is so much change. — & I am a creature of habit for sure.

It’s been stressful. It’s been strange. it’s been fun & exciting too… there are pros and cons galore. Our dog has been adjusting… she is also a creature of habit. She’s now a bigger baby than she was before… tho I didn’t think that was possible before now.. ;). Life’s just been different.

I used to live out in the country. No neighbors nearby. Now I live.. well, still sorta out in the country… just in a subdivision with a ton of neighbors. They are lovely people… but it’s still different for someone who has never really had so many people around all the time.

Back at my old home.,.. I used to sit outside at night, under the stars, in the dark… turn some music on, close my eyes, & let all of the stress and anxieties of life just slip away for a while. — It has always been my de-stresser. The one thing that kept me going when life got tough. Somehow.. it just does wonders for my soul. I always feel more at peace afterwards. It’s my thing. 🙂

Since I moved… oh, like 4 months ago, that has not happened. Not even once. Suddenly there are neighbors every where… I don’t want to disturb them somehow… I also watch a lot of Dateline… & well… I don’t want to show up on an episode of that… lol. So I just haven’t bothered to sit outside at 2 am cause.. well, it’s all so different here.

Tonight tho… I did just that. Went outside, popped my headphones in, leaned back in a chair, & let all my worries wash away for a while.

It was fantastic. Absolutely amazing. & Oh how I had missed it so much.

Sometimes things all around us change. Life becomes different & unfamiliar. We create new normals & move in all sorts of directions. It’s always full of happiness & excitement… but it also has it’s downsides… it can be uncomfortable & difficult too. But when everything around you changes… there are still some things that will always stay the same.

For me.. that’s washing away stress under the stars after midnight. For you, I’m sure it’s something else entirely. But it’s nice… that despite all the changes in life… some things are just a part of who we are. 🙂

When Past & Present Collide…

My junior year in high school, we were given a project to do in lit class. Pick two songs with lyrics that meant something to us or inspired us in some way, that sort of thing. We could either assemble them into a scrap-book or write them on a white t-shirt, one on the front, the other on the back… then present them to the class & explain why we chose them. — I only remember one of the songs I chose. I can’t for the life of me remember the other one. But as it doesn’t pertain what I’m about to share, I guess it doesn’t really matter. — What does matter, however, is the song I do remember.

Stand, by Rascal Flatts. I remember thinking back then, this really isn’t a cool song. I almost, in fact, traded it in for something more hip & teenager-like. I mean, at 16, those aren’t really the kind of songs teenagers are blasting on their radios. Anyhow, I went with it in the end. & looking back now, I’m glad I did.

I just heard it again. For the first time in ages. & just like when I was younger, it encouraged me & spoke to me, in that way only music can do. — If you don’t know, these are just some of the lyrics….

“Cause when push comes to shove,
You taste what you’re made of.
You might bend till you break,
‘Cause it’s all you can take.
On your knees, you look up,
Decide you’ve had enough.
You get mad, you get strong,
Wipe your hands, shake it off,
Then you stand.”

Life is a beautiful journey. It’s a gift & worth every second. Having said that tho, it’s not always fun. It’s not always pretty, & it’s not always easy. It’s full of pain, anger, sadness, loss, & loneliness. So much heartbreak & so many struggles. It’s a journey that is filled with a lot of ugliness along the way. Some that we talk about & share with others, some that we keep to ourselves & don’t speak of. But what doesn’t change, is that it’s there & changes shape throughout life.

Lately, some of that ugliness has been creeping in & keeping me company despite that I didn’t invite it or welcome it once it waltzed through the door.

Ya see, I think for all of us, it’s the same. We’re pushed & we’re shoved, until we bend & we break… we get knocked down. That’s something I knew back then, & I know it now. There’s only one thing for us to do afterwards though…  & that’s stand back up. We stand & we keep going… because that’s life.

Anyhow, I heard that song tonight & just like back then, I could feel the determination to get back up & keep on going. I could feel a difference inside myself the moment the tide turned. — All from lyrics to a song I knew meant something years ago. Because it’s a message that stands the test of time. —

You can be just a teenage girl in a very big world, picking out a song that encourages you for a school project, without even realizing just how much truth is in the very lyrics that you chose. Not realizing how much you’d bend & break in the years to come. Or without knowing how many times you’d brush yourself off & get back up. — It’s funny… cause I knew, but at the same time I didn’t know.

If you’re reading this… & you’ve taken a tumble recently, maybe give the song a listen. You might like it. 🙂

Every time we get back up, even if we have to fight & claw our way there, we’ve made it. & that’s something. 🙂