I’m over here doing some online shopping for a camping trip. A task, which my husband has left to me, cause, well… y’all… I like to shop. If ever there were any doubt…
I’m on Bass Pro’s website, already got those fancy mosquito repellent candles in my cart, when I see in huge, red letters… BARGAIN CAVE.
A bargain, you say?! A whole cave full of them?! For me? Why, yes, that sounds lovely! I think I’ll check that out! <Me, to the computer> As if it could hear me. (Although, honestly, conspiracy theorists unite! *fist bump* Cause, well, it can hear me! It’s listening to us all!)
Anyway, I ventured into the cave! Whether this was my first mistake or not, I have no idea. I’ve been online shopping for an hour. It could well be just one mistake in a long line! Anyhoo, I have since put in batteries I’m not sure we even need, a flannel shirt-jacket cause I think my husband would make a sexy lumberjack, and about 72 various coffee mugs. (Okay, I admit, that last part is a bit of an exaggeration.) And as much as I want to see my sexy lumberjack drinking his coffee out of a manly looking mug with a grizzly bear on it… I took the jacket and the mugs out of the cart. Cause, well, I don’t actually need them. (Neither does my husband, who now, I will never get to have lumberjack fantasies about!) Maybe I should put that one back in the cart after all, eh? Give him an axe, a beard, sexy flannel jacket… manly coffee mug…… See! Now we’re back where we started!
Anyway, next thing I know, I’m looking at flashlights, and they’re trying to sale me a $200 bargain flashlight! $200! They promised me bargains… and see, I know that thing was listed for like, $295, so technically, it’s a bargain. But ya girl is over here looking for a $20 flashlight at best. Y’all done lured me down into this cave, on the premise I’d get bargains… and all I got was a lot of batteries, a lumberjack fantasy going nowhere, and coffee mugs that won’t fit in my kitchen cabinet, cause well, I buy too many of those things as it is!
Then there are the deals that are so good I don’t want to pass them up. A $12 tent? Why, yes! Give me that! Except… we have two tents as it is! We don’t need another one. We sho don’t need a three person tent with two big ol’ adults and a giant dog!
And this, my friends, is what online shopping looks like in our house. Wish me luck as I dive back in! Cause I’m not finished yet. I’m not even halfway into the bargain cave, and I already tried to convince myself to just put the camo duffel bag into my cart and buy it. And for what reason, I have no idea. I don’t need a camo duffle bag! I’m not trying to blend in when I’m camping, sho not trying to do it when I’m hiking, I don’t want to get shot by a hunter who thinks I’m a deer. There are posted signs for that! Wear bright colors! Hunters abound! And I don’t hunt, (I’m a bleeding heart if there ever was one) so I sure don’t need it for that. I own one camo shirt, and it came from Old Navy. I ain’t even about that camo life, and I’m trying to snap up a big ole’ camo duffle like I need it for something.
What I actually need… is to behave myself when I’m shopping. But… that’s unlikely, so, who knows what’ll happen next!