I Went Somewhere With This…

Ya wanna know the one thing I dislike more than most things? & before I get to that… just let me say that I dislike a lot of things. Hot weather, bacon, (which some would say makes me un-american.. 🙂 ) scary movies, animal abusers, heavy metal music, going to the dentist, terrorists… I mean… the list could go on & on. — But at the very top of it, there is one thing I dislike more than most things…. & that is a hateful christian that uses the name of Jesus to justify their hatred.

I want to say real quick, right here, before anyone misunderstands…. I’m not saying that I expect people to be perfect. I’m not saying that Christians shouldn’t screw up… we do, we will…. it’s part of being human. — I’m only talking about the ones that beat other people into the ground over their sins…. and claim it’s because God tells them too. — There is a difference.

I can be a hateful person.. and I am talking about myself personally right now. I can be mean. I can be petty.. I can be judgmental. I can decide that someone is sinning far worse than I am. I can put the spite in spiteful when I so choose. I can take “I am right & you are wrong” to a ridiculously condescending level. I can show people unkindness when I’m angry or disagree with them. I can do all these awful things. & I am guilty of doing so on many occasions. I am not perfect & I am well aware of it every single day. But here’s the thing….

I own that… I own up that I am a flawed human being because I am not perfect. I own my weaknesses & am aware that hate can pour out of me sometimes. But here’s the thing… I’m not going to give God the credit for those things. If I show hate to another human being in any form… I am not about to put that on God.

I don’t expect people to be perfect, but when someone fails to walk in love, and we all will time and time again, I also don’t expect them to give God the glory and credit for actions rooted in hatred. That’s a human failing, not his.

It angers me that there are christians that quote the bible word for word, but look down on someone who lands in prison…. because God says so. That there are christians that spout about their christianity all the time, but shun their families should they sin differently from them… because their bible says they must. That there are christians that sit in church & preach compassion, but then lack that very same compassion for people on the outside of their circles… because God says their way or no way.

It makes me angry because people are getting hurt. People that don’t know God are watching & they are forming opinions & making decisions about Him based off these sorts of things. They are doing God a disservice & an injustice. — They are telling a world full of people that God is not love. They are saying to the world, He loves you if… He loves you when… — He loves you… if you walk, and talk, and think like we do. As if His love, compassion, and kindness are conditional. When they are no such thing. — He loves you… period.

It drives me insane… but I’ve recently realized some things…. I said I was going somewhere with this… so here it goes….

 

 

I can speak up about Him. I can be kind and compassionate. To the ones they steer clear of, I can welcome with open arms. Every day, every word, every action I take… I can walk in love. — That’s what I can do. That’s who I can be. That’s what I can focus on.

What I realized was that it’s not about them. I’ve been so focused on them… that I missed that point entirely. They’re not my concern. What they do…. is their business. What I do.. is mine.

God has been working some serious overtime on this. It’s been a big hurdle for me. I think we’ve finally come out on the other side. We had to get passed the hatred I was harboring. Then we had to get passed my inability to overlook how families & friends just let that sort of behavior slide right on by. In the end, the last piece of that puzzle… I had to realize that it wasn’t my concern. I get no say in how others choose to live their lives… free will is free will.

It doesn’t mean I have to agree with them… because that’s not happening. It just means I have to stay in my lane.

It’s not about them. It’s never been about them. There’s an antithesis to that sort of hate… and it’s love. God is love and so long as I strive to do all things in love… I’ll be showing God everywhere I go & in everything I do. Love wins out over hate every time. Even when it doesn’t seem like it, it does. — I’m not perfect, I know it, and I won’t always get it right. But that’s okay. — I’m going to try.

I spent so much time giving people like this too much of my time & energy. Too many of my thoughts and too many of my words.

There’s a peace that comes with knowing that their words and their actions are not my concern & that anything they say or do is entirely irrelevant to me.

My job is not to police anyone else. It’s not theirs either. It’s God’s. I no longer want any part of it.

I just want to do what God needs me to do, stay in my lane, and keep moving forward.

I’ve been so worried about the damage that this sort of thing does to people, instead of focusing on the ability of God’s love to repair that damage. — I realized that’s what I need to be about.

It’s a far cry from where I was.

You may have even noticed that the tone of the first part of this post was a little different than the second half. — That’s because the first half was written 5 months ago… and it had a slightly different ending. — Mostly that I needed to let it go & be the opposite of them. — Which is still true… but it was slightly more hostile because I was still struggling very hard with it. — I’m not anymore.

This has been heavy bondage that’s been weighing me down… and I finally broke free. (Okay… God sprung me from this prison, let’s be real, jail break! lol.)

I used to feel anger, rage, and irritation. It used to consume me. But now…. I don’t feel any of that. — Don’t get me wrong… I still don’t like that this happens and I still don’t like that there are people that do this. But…. it doesn’t eat away at me anymore.

I’ve come a long way y’all. This post started somewhere else, written by someone with an entirely different attitude… than where it ended up. — I was on my way here at the time & had made some progress… but it took months to evolve all the way to this.

That’s God. All God. Every bit of it.

I thought about deleting this post altogether…. and then decided it’s a great example of God repairing damage done by hatred. I let it seep into my soul… and He took it out… & then replaced it with something far greater.

So it stays.. 🙂
Love you guys!

 

1981

I fail to be consistent in my writing. I don’t mean to, but it is still true nonetheless.

Having said that… I sat down & wrote 1981 words over the last couple hours.

I’m now going to invoke the saying, “Something is better than nothing.” It’s 1981 more than I did yesterday or the day before, or the one before that.

So, go me. I’m going to pat myself on the back for a job well done. 🙂
It’s also well passed my bedtime. – Night! 😉

Writing Challenge Fun #1

If you only had one window to look out of for the next six months, what would you want to see on the other side? Describe the view & why you chose it. 

Winter. — Cold, crisp air. Clear blue skies. Green trees & Bare trees. Grass that has died… with the occasional sprinkle of frost or maybe even of snow. Ice all around. A light breeze that blows. Cold. I want to see cold, wintry weather. Maybe a lake or a mountain? Or maybe just a backyard in a cozy little neighborhood. I’m not picky. I just want to see winter.  — I want to look out my window & feel the chill on the inside. I want to sense it all around me. I want to see what’s outside that window come to life on the inside. I want to feel connected with it. —-

I feel more at peace during the winter months. There is just something I find extremely comforting & relaxing about it. — I step out into the cold & it brings an automatic smile to my face. It makes me want to spread my arms out & twirl around in circles like I did when I was a little girl.  — I don’t know if it’s the love of cold weather & the sense of clarity I get from it, or the fact that I’m a book loving, blanket hoarder that loves to snuggle up with a hot cup of tea & read for hours on end…. Lol. — Either way, I thoroughly enjoy winter when it is here & long for it when it is away.  —

One of my favorite memories from my childhood is one that should have probably been an indicator that I was going to love wintertime. — My dad would get up early to go hunting & my mom would always fix him a cup of coffee to take with him before he left. — I can remember several times when I would bundle up in my winter attire & take my dad his coffee. (I do believe one time in particular I actually dipped my finger in the cup & tasted it… I was not a fan, coffee smelled good, but it certainly didn’t taste nearly as good, lol!) —  I remember that morning so vividly in my mind. I remember how I couldn’t help but smile when the cold air hit my face as I walked out across the yard. I remember how happy I was in that moment. How amazing it felt outside & how warm I felt on the inside. — To this day winter weather still makes me feel that way. — 🙂

-hmthreatte!

Brand Spankin’ New Idea!

That’s a catchy title, right? I feel like I just got an A+ on one of those 5th grade assignments where we used to have to come up with catchy titles & first sentences to draw readers in. – If by chance it didn’t work on you, please, spare my feelings & let me play pretend. 🙂

So about this new idea…..

I am going to challenge myself to write every single day. — I get in those moods where I just don’t write for a while or can’t think of a thing to say… and I just stumbled across some really good writing prompts, some of which should prove to be quite interesting. (Considering one is about majestic beasts, swat teams, & something else I don’t remember… Lol, either way, so far out of my realm, but should bring so much fun into it! )

Anyhow, I plan to work on one a day or so. Write a few paragraphs or something & just have fun with it. I feel like spicing up what I’m writing about everyday will help keep me from burning out on the same thing day in & day out. — I think a few pages or paragraphs of fun & some writing that is completely out of my zone is just what I need to keep it fresh. — So I’m going to give it a try at least. — All I want is to get in the habit of writing every single day & having wacky fun with it sometimes.

— Of course, I’m still working on writing my book, (I’m actually working on creating the fictional town it takes place in right now. — I’m going on my first little research trip in a couple of weeks… which is not only super exciting but will also help me nail down this fictional town and military base I’m working on, lol. Don’t want to write something entirely impossible & sound like a big dummy… 😉 — Once I finish that part I can get back to writing the story again. — But some fun little stuff in between will help me out I think.

I fully intend to share some of my little writing projects with you guys… so beware! Some may be entertaining, some may be boring, & there is a chance some may be down right terrifying.. 😉

I’m just excited to have some fun & I hope you guys tag along for the ride!

Common Problems of the Dysfunctional Reader…

I am about to attempt something crazy… quite possibly unheard of, even.

I have just cleaned up my Kindle app & dismissed the books that I’ve already completed. That’s when I noticed it. — There are 48 unread/half-read books still lingering about. 48. That’s nearly 50! (Lol, look at me stating the obvious.) & If I’m correct… I do believe I have exactly 4 unfinished paper back novels sitting around the house. — Somebody needs to read the books she already has before she purchases more… Lol. (Haha, don’t tell my husband I have quite so many… he’ll give me the look. lol The “you spent all that money on those books & haven’t read them?… Wait a minute, I just watched you buy a new book the other day! What are you, some sort of book hoarder… that doesn’t even read the books?!” Look. — (Funny how so much can be said in just one look! — 🙂

So, I’m going to attempt what?
That crazy thing that may actually prove to be quite difficult for me.

I’m going to try & read all the books I already have… before getting another one!

I know that must seem like a pretty easy thing to do. It’s just I have this bad habit of scrolling around & seeing books that look interesting…. soooo, naturally I get it & then I’m already so interested in this new story I’ve found I put the current one down & forget to go back to it later. I’m so easily distracted, Lol!  — Ya know, really, that’s just a compliment to all the authors that write so great they hook me & real me in before I even have a chance to stop myself. Lol, see…. it’s not even my fault. — They shouldn’t write so well & then I wouldn’t have this problem! 😉

Now in my defense, several of the books that are half-read were probably left unfinished because it turned out not to be my thing. — It happens. Those I will probably just never read. & truthfully, some of them were most likely free in the genre I was checking out that day & I got it to try it out. — Sometimes that works out. I can’t tell you how many times I bought a free or discounted book & loved it so much I ended up buying & reading a ton of those authors books afterwards. — I love when that happens. — Unfortunately, sometimes it goes the other way. — So some of these books will go in the never to be finished category. — But not most of them. Lol, I paid for these bad boys… I’m going to read them! (Not to mention that most of them that I started were good, I just got a wee bit distracted.. 🙂  )

So…. we shall see how it goes.
I am challenging myself. — No new books until I’ve read the ones I have.

(This should be interesting….. )

-Heather! 🙂