Category Archives: Randomness

Got Caught Up In The Bargain Cave! (With A Sexy Lumberjack!) … Sort of.

I’m over here doing some online shopping for a camping trip. A task, which my husband has left to me, cause, well… y’all… I like to shop. If ever there were any doubt…

I’m on Bass Pro’s website, already got those fancy mosquito repellent candles in my cart, when I see in huge, red letters… BARGAIN CAVE.

A bargain, you say?! A whole cave full of them?! For me? Why, yes, that sounds lovely! I think I’ll check that out! <Me, to the computer> As if it could hear me. (Although, honestly, conspiracy theorists unite! *fist bump* Cause, well, it can hear me! It’s listening to us all!)

Anyway, I ventured into the cave! Whether this was my first mistake or not, I have no idea. I’ve been online shopping for an hour. It could well be just one mistake in a long line! Anyhoo, I have since put in batteries I’m not sure we even need, a flannel shirt-jacket cause I think my husband would make a sexy lumberjack, and about 72 various coffee mugs. (Okay, I admit, that last part is a bit of an exaggeration.) And as much as I want to see my sexy lumberjack drinking his coffee out of a manly looking mug with a grizzly bear on it… I took the jacket and the mugs out of the cart. Cause, well, I don’t actually need them. (Neither does my husband, who now, I will never get to have lumberjack fantasies about!) Maybe I should put that one back in the cart after all, eh? Give him an axe, a beard, sexy flannel jacket… manly coffee mug…… See! Now we’re back where we started!

Anyway, next thing I know, I’m looking at flashlights, and they’re trying to sale me a $200 bargain flashlight! $200! They promised me bargains… and see, I know that thing was listed for like, $295, so technically, it’s a bargain. But ya girl is over here looking for a $20 flashlight at best. Y’all done lured me down into this cave, on the premise I’d get bargains… and all I got was a lot of batteries, a lumberjack fantasy going nowhere, and coffee mugs that won’t fit in my kitchen cabinet, cause well, I buy too many of those things as it is!

Then there are the deals that are so good I don’t want to pass them up. A $12 tent? Why, yes! Give me that! Except… we have two tents as it is! We don’t need another one. We sho don’t need a three person tent with two big ol’ adults and a giant dog!

And this, my friends, is what online shopping looks like in our house. Wish me luck as I dive back in! Cause I’m not finished yet. I’m not even halfway into the bargain cave, and I already tried to convince myself to just put the camo duffel bag into my cart and buy it. And for what reason, I have no idea. I don’t need a camo duffle bag! I’m not trying to blend in when I’m camping, sho not trying to do it when I’m hiking, I don’t want to get shot by a hunter who thinks I’m a deer. There are posted signs for that! Wear bright colors! Hunters abound! And I don’t hunt, (I’m a bleeding heart if there ever was one) so I sure don’t need it for that. I own one camo shirt, and it came from Old Navy. I ain’t even about that camo life, and I’m trying to snap up a big ole’ camo duffle like I need it for something.

What I actually need… is to behave myself when I’m shopping. But… that’s unlikely, so, who knows what’ll happen next!

The Story Of A Picture… β€οΈ

It’s me! πŸ˜‰

There’s a chance you’re lookin’ at this thinkin’ … Why? Why are you uploading a selfie to your blog, Heather?!Β 

Well, I’ll tell you.

Few things about this picture… 

1. I just took it. At (looks at clock) 2am. So ignore the glassy eyed look. It’s late. I’m tired. I haven’t been tossing em back tonight. I’d tell you if I had been!Β  😘

2. It’s black and white. I’m in my living room, and the only light on in here is a dim little lamp. It cast an ugly shade of yellow over this whole picture, and we couldn’t have that now could we?! (We couldn’t! It was hideous!)

3. I have a pimple! (Okay, two! πŸ‘€) Ignore it. My skin led a revolt against me this week and fired some very ungentlemenly shots my way. We’re still at war, but I’m winning!Β (Please note… The opposition was out of bounds and will be tried for war crimes immediately upon my win.)

4. There’s some awkward arm placement going on here… cause, well, I’m in my jammies, and I’m not wearing a bra. Need I explain further? (I think not. I’m sure you get the gist! πŸ˜‚)

5. And the reason I took this picture despite one through four being darn good reasons I shouldn’t have… I cut my hair tonight.Β 

Why does that matter? It doesn’t really.

It was long last year. And for many years before that. But after losing 40 lbs and realizing I hid behind my hair like some sort of security blanket… I chopped off like eight inches back in November.Β (Yes, I did that.)

A few months ago I saw a picture from last Easter and was like, I miss my long hair! I’mma let it grow back out. So I have been. And I really do miss it. But I wear my hair up more than I wear it down. And since it has grown back out about five inches, I realize how much it hurts to wear it up when it’s longer! Geez, it’s annoying. And painful!

So the great debate ensued. To cut or not to cut? (I cut my own hair, btw. YouTube tutorials made that possible, and then practice for the last four years has made it darn near perfect. — Most of the time. πŸ˜‚)

Anyway… it came down to vanity or comfort. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my shorter or more medium-length hair. I like it. I just happen to love it when it’s longer… if it’s down, that is. If it’s up, I do not. It hurts. See the problem? I can’t have it both ways. Unfortunately.Β 

And In the end…. I went with comfort. Chopped off roughly two and a half inches, got back into comfy ponytail and messy bun territory… and I’m quite happy.Β 

I took the picture because I was happy.Β That’s it. That’s why.

Thought I’d tell you the story that went with the photo.

Riveting, isn’t it? πŸ˜‚ (We all better hope I write more interesting novels than this drivel. 😘)

It’s The End Of The World… Sort Of.

Sometimes I have these wild, vivid dreams. They’re totally out in left field, with a movie-like quality. They’re also wildly entertaining.

Here’s one from the other night…

It was the end of the world. Or something like that. Some catastrophic event that killed millions of people and sent the rest of us fleeing for our lives. The sky looked like it was burning. A pink haze hung in the air. No idea what had happened. But I ended up with a group of people, several of which in that party I didn’t trust. And I had good reason, apparently. Because the middle-aged, balding, short, stout man in charge was sneaking off to the Krystal’s down the street somewhere, stealing all the little burgers for himself, refusing to share any with the rest of us! He was also wearing his Krystal’s work shirt. He was manager or something like that. He was hiding them in a fridge in an old barn. Him and some accomplice. Anyway, we made him share. It was that or he was on his own. He chose sharing, of course.

Then we set off on foot through a jungle. Now why there was a Krystal’s near a jungle… I do not know! Dream Heather can’t explain any of that. Anyway, fast forward, we’re in a tree house of some sort, staring out at the the weird, pink, scary sky, and somehow, no idea how, I had a daughter. A little blonde-haired girl who wouldn’t let go of me. Now I didn’t have a daughter when the Krystal fiasco went down, so I don’t know how that came to be. Maybe I had her stashed away somewhere. I don’t know. But she was there and she was mine.

Then this gorgeous, dark haired, muscled, greek-like God of a man, with no shirt on, came up in the tree house… And looked right at me. Uh-oh.

With panther-like precision he made his way over to us. Me and my daughter. His name was Gabriel and he turned out to be her father!! 😯 (Dream Heather and reality Heather collided here, cause I thought, don’t I have a husband somewhere, and looked out over the railing of the treehouse. I decided he must not exist here and turned back to my handsome dream man. — Don’t judge me. He was dream Heather’s baby daddy after all! πŸ˜‚)

Then we all argued, the whole party, about which way to go, before deciding to split up. We decended the stairs of the tree house and went out into the pink, foggy forest…..

And then I woke up!

I don’t know where these things come from. πŸ˜‚ But they are entertaining to say the least.

Heather! ❀️

A Cozy Day At Home!

It’s a cold, rainy, dreary day here along the coast of Georgia. I’m curled up on the couch with a blanket, wearing my jammies and fuzzy socks. The dog is curled up napping on the other couch. I lit some candles. I’m watching impeachment proceedings. (Well, actually, I’m typing this while people stand around chatting with each other on the senate floor.) Thrilling life, ammiright? — (Ordinarily I wouldn’t even mention the trial, because I don’t go anywhere near politics online. But I wanted to set the scene for y’all.😊)

Anyway, I actually love days like this. I don’t like getting out in this weather, but when it rains all day, there’s a chill in the air, and I can spend the day curled up under warm blankets… it’s so… I don’t know, therapeutic in a way. Crazy as that may sound.

So this has been my day. It’s been nice.

I think I’m going to make homemade chili tonight. It’s five o’clock now. So I’ll probably start that soon.

Hope y’all had a great day, wherever it is that you are in the world, whatever it is that you did today. 😊

Heather! ❀️

I Will Not Eat The Bacon…

Unpopular opinion: Bacon is nasty. It does not taste good, does not smell good, is just… Not good.

I feel like that’s such a controversial thing to say. People seem to love bacon. When I tell people I don’t like it, they’re shocked. Stunned. Can’t believe I don’t love bacon. And I’m always thinking, but…but…but… Ewww! πŸ˜‚

There seems to be a universal love for it. I don’t think anyone I know personally as ever agreed with me about bacon’s lack of deliciousness or usefulness. They always look at me like I’m a crazy person. But in reality, I’m pretty certain I’m the sane one.

I watch a new little cooking channel on YouTube and the guy is always throwing bacon in recipes for fun, cooking perfectly good food in bacon grease, and saying things like who doesn’t love bacon? And I’m over on the other side of the screen shouting, me!! Me! Me! Me! I don’t! You’re ruining that hamburger sir! πŸ˜‚ (He seems like a decent fellow, he just, ya know, has faulty taste buds. πŸ˜‚)

So there’s an unpopular opinion for y’all today! See ya later!

Heather! ❀️

Betrayed By My Shampoo!!

I tried a fancy shampoo. Okay, by fancy I mean I paid like $5 more than I normally do for shampoo. πŸ˜‚ But still, I went out on a limb here.

If you want to know how poor this decision ended up being… Keep reading…

I want to preface this by saying I have naturally oily hair. Like, I have to wash my hair everyday or it’s icky and oily. Long as I wash it every 24 or so hours, it looks good and there aren’t any problems. (Except if I were a character in a dystopian novel! Then there would be problems. Those people run around without showering for days. What do the naturally oily haired people do?! It’s literally something I ponder every time I read one. They just run around looking nasty while saving the world? Ain’t read one yet where the characters were described as anything but attractive and looking nice….dirty, but nice. Soooo… where’s my oily headed folks?! We matter too! πŸ˜‚)

I’m going to get back on topic now… (I apologize. 😁)

Day 1: I got this new shampoo, it smelled really good, I was excited. I used it and noticed my hair seemed kinda soft, felt kinda nice. I was like, okay, this isn’t bad. — I didn’t quite love it, though. I kind of got the impression it was on the verge of feeling oily, but not quite.

Day 2: I committed to giving it a real try, so I used it the next day. It was definitely oily. Immediately after blow drying my hair I could see and feel the oil in it. Nothing crazy, but noticable to me. — This was not a good sign.

Day 3: I used a teeny tiny amount, thinking, okay maybe it’s just too much of a good thing. …… No. Even more oily. Like I washed and dried my hair and then threw it up in a messy bun cause it was too oily for wearing down. (I was around the house, so no one was seeing this awful hair. πŸ˜‚)

Day 4: I paid five extra dollars. I’m determined to use it. The entire bottle. No matter what. πŸ˜‚ So I used a teeny tiny amount again. Teeny tiny. — Oily again. Even worse than before. — By this point I’m starting to weaken. But not quite enough yet….

Day 5: Contemplated using the little bit of the Aussie shampoo I had left when I bought the new one. Decided not to. I paid an extra $5 after all. This was serious! Well, by this time I’d figured out the shampoo was leaving extra product in my hair, likely as a way of moisturizing or adding oil for people who need that sort of thing. (Which is most assuredly not me!) — I got in the shower, washed my hair, and even while it was wet and had been throughly rinsed out, I could feel the oil. It felt gross and slimy. — But I was determined. (Stubborn’s more like it! πŸ˜‚)

Day 5 continued: I thought about rewashing with the other shampoo before hopping out of the shower. But I did not. Instead, I soldiered on. Thirty minutes later, halfway through drying my hair, I was thoroughly disgusted. It was so oily it felt just plain nasty. I mean nasty! I touched it and even my hand felt greasy. Like I just showered and I felt dirty. — It was at that moment I lost the battle.

Day 5 moving right along: With my hair half dry, I grabbed the bottle of Aussie and washed my hair under the faucet in the bathtub, hoping it would strip all the product out of my hair. — Praise be to Jesus, because y’all, my hair is no longer oily! πŸ˜‚

Let this be a lesson to you all… Every hair type needs something different, all shampoos are not created equally… And if you’re too stubborn, you may just end up with gross, icky hair for days. Sometimes it’s better to waste ten bucks and retain your sanity! πŸ˜‚

Also, Mom, I know you’re reading this. I have some shampoo for you to try! Let’s hope you have better luck with it than I did. (& don’t let Dad use it, he’s the one that gave me this hair!) 😘

Heather! ❀️

Wild, Riveting Content…

I know you came here for the riveting content I consistently put out. Well, you’re in luck, have I got some for you!

My Saturday went like this… I woke up. Late. On purpose. What can I say? I like to sleep in. I watched tv. I whipped up some homemade peanut butter cookies. Wasted time on the internet. Let the dog out, then made her come back in because she was barking at the neighbors all rude-like. We taught her manners, she’s just… ya know… stubborn. I watched more tv. I worked out. I watched some YouTube videos. I made grits and eggs for dinner. Wasted a little more time on the internet. Then, and only then, did I pop open my computer to get some work done. That was two hours ago. So I’ve spent roughly two hours writing, while only eating one peanut butter cookie during that time, and taking only this one break right now, where I’m typing up this nice, fancy blog post.

Nice, huh?

If you’re disappointed, well, clearly you didn’t know this was what my riveting content consists of. I guess I could have tried to hype it a little. Tell you that I watched a documentary about a whole pirate island that sank to the bottom of the ocean! Or that our outdoor critters ate all the corn off their little corncobs today! That’s right, that happened. Oh, and if you want a really interesting tidbit, I washed the dishes after baking cookies instead of letting them sit in the sink! (gasp!!)

This, folks, is my glamours life. πŸ˜‰

Now I’m going to do some more fascinating things… Like more work, take a shower, watch more tv, go to sleep. Stuff like that. 😘 — See y’all later!

Heather. ❀️

Gimme All The Food!

I did a bad thing.

I went down the cooking/recipe rabbit hole on YouTube… (I even subscribed to a couple channels, ya know… So they can keep me apprised of all things food.)

Now I want to make cheesy enchiladas, chocolate chip cookies, salmon, French toast, chili, grilled cheese sandwiches, mac and cheese, cinnamon rolls, sloppy joes, queso, and a multitude of other things.

I’m also hungry now, and it’s midnight. So not only did I do this, I did it late at night, like a dumbo! πŸ˜‚

If any of you see me at the grocery store tomorrow with a cart full of groceries I don’t need…. Look away! Just look away! πŸ˜‚

In other news, and entirely unrelated to what just happened here, I’m going to the kitchen now. Not to raid it or anything crazy like that. Ya know, just to sit in it. Admire the room. That sort of thing. Nothing at all suspicious about that!

See y’all!

Heather. ❀️

A Distant Memory & A Cup Of Cocoa…

I’m drinking a hot cocoa for the first time in years. It tastes like my childhood! Seriously, it does.

So I’mma tell y’all about one of my favorite childhood memories. Now fair warning, I have no idea why it’s one of my favorites nor do I know why I remember it so vividly.

Here we go….

One cold, early morning when I was roughly around six, seven, maybe eight years old, my Mom made my dad a cup of steaming hot coffee and asked me to take it outside to him.

I remember it was pretty outside. The frost on the ground was beginning to thaw, but it still had that white, crystalline look to it. It was cold outside. I was bundled in a jacket. It was a thick one. Not a flimsy, it’s a little cool out, but a true, keep-a-kid warm kind of jacket. The sun was bright, the sky was blue and clear. I could hear birds.

I started across the front yard, carefully holding the cup of coffee, and thought, this coffee smells good. Now, I don’t know how much I knew about coffee before that, or how much attention I’d paid to the smell, but I took notice that morning.

Once I was about halfway across the yard I ever so conspicuously stuck a finger in the cup and then, after pulling it back out, popped it into my mouth to taste the coffee.

I didn’t like the taste and decided then that coffee was just one of those things that smelled good, but tasted awful. Ya know, like gasoline! πŸ˜‚ (I’ve never tasted gas, but I’m sure it would taste awful!)

Anyway, I took the cup to my dad then went back inside. I have no idea why I remember that so well, other than maybe, even in my little person brain, I knew my dad would have been like, you did whaaat to my coffee?! (Not in a mean way. I have a really great, loving dad. Just in a regular parent, my kid just ruined my coffee kind of way. πŸ˜‚)

And for some reason, that’s one of my favorite memories. I have no idea why. Still to this day though, I love the smell of coffee but hate the way it tastes. Hence, the cocoa. That I can do.

Isn’t it amazing what something as simple as a cup of cocoa can bring to mind? A distant memory about a cup of coffee on a cold, winter morning, a vivid recounting of that very tale.

Cool, huh?

Also… To my Dad, if you’re reading this… Sorry?… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‰

Heather. ❀️