A Valentine's Day Warning…

It’s Valentine’s Day!

If you want my honest opinion… (I know some of you probably don’t. I apologize in advance.) I find the holiday to be overrated. Yes, I said it. Over. Rated. (Okay, I know that’s one word. I was going for emphasis.)

I’ve always felt that way about it though. It’s just an opinion. If you enjoy it, then that’s great.

If you’re single, and you’re watching all these loving couples celebrate each other and find yourself thinking, I want what they have.

No you don’t.

You want love, and I genuinely hope you find it someday. But please, whatever you do, don’t want what you see on social media. Social media is not an accurate portrayal of what love is. And I’m sure you know that. But this is just a reminder. You don’t know what happens behind those closed doors. It’s sweet, and it’s cute, and it’s loving, and adorable… but that’s what they choose to present to you. You don’t see the ugly stuff.

Love should be celebrated, and it’s incredibly special. But… I see people leave comments on statuses and pictures that say, I want what you have. I want a love like yours. And that’s a dangerous line of thinking. If only because you don’t have any idea what their relationship is actually like.

For example, I dated a guy for years, who was a world-class jerk. And people thought we were cute, and they thought, what an adorable little couple. I’d like to have a relationship like that. Let me just say, I came out of it battered, and broken, and a completely different person than I was when I went into it. And not in a good way. But no one saw that happening, because I didn’t share it. Some of the stories I could tell, would stun the living daylights out of people, because there was never an inkling about what was going on when no one was looking. And if those same people that said, I want what they have, had actually seen what we had…. they would have said, Aw hell no, I don’t want that.

I’m not saying every relationship you see is a bad one. I may have dated an awful guy, but I married a good one. So I know there are better relationships to be had. All I’m saying, is be very careful when looking at what other people present to the world, and wishing you had it. Or feeling down because you don’t.

Instead, if you want to wish for love, that’s okay, just don’t wish for what you see someone else with. Wish for the right one for you, because yours is never going to look identical to anyone else’s.

And one other thing. Do not, under any circumstances, settle, because you’re looking around and see all these relationships and you want one, too.

That world-class jerk I mentioned? Had I settled for less than I deserved because I wanted some happily ever after that I saw others around us getting… I would have made a horrible mistake and ruined my life.

You know what I figured out? It was okay to be single. It was okay to be alone. It was okay to be by myself until the right person came along. Was that terrifying for me at the time? Yes. Was I lonely some days? Yes. Was I scared I’d spend forever alone? Yes.

But it was better than making the mistake of marrying the wrong man.

Just don’t let today get in your head and mess with you. That’s all. I know it can be hard for a lot of people.

Anyway, I’m going to kick back and watch Tangled and finish my Oreo milkshake. (Just like a child, rather than the 29 year old adult that I am.)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Heather.

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