Book Update — Big Change.

The title says it all.

I have, for the foreseeable future, tabled the book I have been working on.

When I decided to write my first book I didn’t realize that I was going to get lost in the mechanics of it all, so to speak. I didn’t know at the time that I was going to let genre choices, people, expectations, and pressure dictate the story I told. — But that’s exactly what I did.

Instead of focusing on a story that I was passionate about…. I made up a story that I thought would fit where I was trying to make it fit. — I have been trying to write in a way that hasn’t been true to me or who I am. I have been trying to write a book about something that I have zero passion for. I didn’t get lost in my characters & their lives like I should have. I tried… you’ll see that in posts prior to this one, but I think deep down my heart was never really in it. I’m the writer, & I wasn’t even interested in them. I’m still not interested in them. I tried to be… it just didn’t work.

Honestly, I was so worried about the readers I would alienate if I didn’t try to find some way to pull them in, that I made up a story that I thought would fit in several different boxes. — Only, it didn’t make me happy… & I’ve struggled to write it.

A few nights ago, I was outside enjoying the cold night air & listening to some music (My favorite way to relax & to just think, btw) & some characters & a story that goes along with them popped into my head. — That may seem strange to someone who doesn’t think in stories like I do, Lol, I’m not crazy, I promise. It’s just the writer in me. These characters weren’t strangers. Their story is one I thought of a while back & considered writing. Only… it’s a love story… which I thought at the time just wasn’t good enough. — I was wrong.

So I’ve made a decision to change course.

I’m going to write it. I’m going to write my romance-y book & forget all about the people who dislike romance in their books. If that is the case, then I may not be the author for them. & that’s okay. —- It just took me a long time to realize that it’s okay.

I decided to write my first book & then pieced a story together based off what I thought a majority would want to read. — & it hasn’t been working.

I thought if I changed what I was writing, that I was admitting failure. & maybe I am. I’m admitting that, for now, I have failed to make it work. But I started failing from the moment I began…. when I came up with an idea for all the wrong reasons.

If you’re a writer, then maybe you’ll understand what I’m about to say. Most of the time, we don’t choose the stories we tell… they choose us. & it’s those stories that are interweaved into who we are… and so we tell them. — With passion & with fire, we fall in love with what we’ve created as we share it with others.

So as much as I hate to even say it, because it makes me feel like a failure, I have to follow my heart. I screwed up in the beginning and even though I’m headed in the right direction now… I know there will be people who think I just couldn’t do it or that I’m just not dedicated. — That reality kills a little bit of the joy I have found & the confidence I have gained… but I won’t let it stop me.

So until next time,

4 thoughts on “Book Update — Big Change.

  1. Rea

    I say good for you for having the strength to admit something wasn’t working for you. You can always use it as an experience that will work for you. Being able to spot something that needs to change is actually a great skill to cultivate.

    1. hmthreatte Post author

      Thanks, I appreciate that. There’s definitely something to learn from it & at the same time it was better to realize I needed to make a change now rather than later. 🙂

  2. ferddhie

    Wow. Happy for you. That’s incredibly liberating. I tell everyone who asks me yo write something for them that I don’t choose what to write. It just comes. Most never seem to understand tho but I know how frustrating it is writing to please everyone other than yourself. Looking forward to your experiences as you write this book

    1. hmthreatte Post author

      Thanks! 🙂 I have to admit, it is rather liberating.

      & you’re right about how a lot of people don’t understand that it just comes to you. I have a character that golfs & it’s important enough to the story that I know a little bit about golfing, except I’ve never been on a golf course, Lol. — So I’m going golfing in the next few weeks to gain a little insight & I went shopping last week for some golf attire & the person shopping with me was like, “Why don’t you just change the sport to something you know a little bit about already? That way you don’t have to golf.” — I was like, no, you don’t understand. I can’t just change it, he golfs. It’s part of who he is. If I change the golf, I change a part of him that I don’t want to change. — Haha, and then she looked at me like I was crazy.

      We go where the story takes us, always. 🙂

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