Home » Struggles » A Whole Lot Of Nothing…

A Whole Lot Of Nothing…

Blah. Blah. Blah. — That’s about how I feel right now. Blah.

It seems insane, that at my age, I could feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. — It just seems insane. I feel like I’m being crushed by the world. I’m not kidding either, I feel like I’m crumbling underneath a massive weight. — Jeez. That sounds pretty pessimistic, doesn’t it?

Excuse my bad attitude tonight. I’m just tired of putting on a happy face right now. Because I cannot tell a lie… I’m not feeling happy. I’m feeling… blah. It’s just one of those days where it’s like if it’s not one thing, it’s another. & honestly, I’m not in the mood for either… not the one thing or the other.

I always try to push myself to be positive. Sometimes I fail. I won’t lie… it happens. — It’s happening right now.

I am so sick of worrying about ten thousand things all the time. That’s just how I’ve always been & sometimes I get to a point where I am like.. no more. No more. I refuse to worry because I don’t have the energy to do it. I get fed up with the time wasted on all the insignificant crap I worry about. — I’m a natural worrier… which just sucks the life out of you.. & then tries to crush you!

Right now I am torn between worrying, not caring about a thing, and blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I don’t know what to think, what to feel, or how to act right now. I kind of feel like throwing something. — Something little. Not breakable. No damage. I’m not a violent person, lol. I just feel sort of lost. & a wee bit devoid of emotion. (Except a little something that is inside me encouraging me to throw something just for funzies.) — I’m just emotionally drained.

So I’m sorry to anyone who actually reads all the way through this post. It’s horrible & full of … well, I’m not sure what it’s full of.. but it’s certainly not very entertaining.

-Heather!

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