Home » Struggles » A Moment Of Truth…

A Moment Of Truth…

In 3 days I have to attend a holiday party… a company holiday party… a (formal)company holiday party… where my husband works… not me, not my job… so basically a party full of people that are strangers to me. — I have to socialize with a lot of people I don’t know. — Dear God, somebody help me! LoL! 🙂

I guess the time has come to see what I’m made of! … Yay!(Insert sarcasm here, lol)
I feel like I am way too shy & self-conscious for this. (Granted I don’t always feel this way… it’s just sometimes when I have to interact with others I get all tongue tied & nothing seems to come out right.)

Lately I’ve been a little better about it. I find that I’m not nearly as self-conscious as often as I’d normally be. I have noticed some improvements while interacting with others. I know that when I’m blogging here I am pretty comfortable conversing with my fellow bloggers these days. — But out there in the big bad world, that’s a different story. It’s still pretty hard.

Some people are so quick to judge others & so many look down on the people around them that I just freeze up around some people. — It makes me nervous & I retreat back into my shell. — I don’t really feel like I fit in anywhere. I feel out of place sometimes and so I end up being too hard on myself. — I just wish the world was full of nothing but kindness & then half of my problems would disappear, lol. I admit, most of it is that I’m afraid of mean people. I am sensitive. My feelings are easily hurt and so many people lack compassion that I go from shy to painfully shy.

One positive here is that I’m not really dreading the party… which is something I would normally do. — See, I’ve improved some! 🙂 — I will admit though, that sometimes when I think about it, I get a little uneasy & nervous, but not too bad.

I have high hopes for myself. I know I can do this & do it well. I just have to push through it & remind myself that what matters isn’t what anyone else sees in me… it’s what God sees in me. — That’s tough sometimes, but I’m going to keep at it! — It’s time to start proving to myself that I am bigger than this and even when I don’t feel that way, that I have a God much bigger than all of it! 🙂

I will most definitely let you all know how the party goes afterwards! So fingers crossed! 🙂

-Heather!

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