4 A.M. & I can’t sleep. — I feel like writing.. but I also feel too overwhelmed to do so.
I read a lot. To be honest, some days I read more than I write. I pick up a book and refuse to put it down until I’m finished with it. Laundry goes unfolded, dishes go unwashed, and the house certainly doesn’t dust itself (Not to mention I don’t get much writing accomplished) … but I certainly enjoy every moment that I’m engrossed in a good book. — Sometimes I read one & think it’s a masterpiece. Sometimes I read one & think it’s pretty good or at least okay. Then there are those times that I read one & think, good heavens.. who published this & why? — Then I turn around & feel bad for thinking that, especially because I know someone worked hard on it, whether it’s my cup of tea or not… it means the world to someone else. —
The thing is, the rest of the world isn’t necessarily like me. They may not stop to think, wait a minute, someone put a lot of heart & effort into this and that means something. — & those are the people who scare me. — I completely understand that I will not like some of the things I read. Everyone is different.
Sometimes in the middle of life I just like to stop, pick up a simple, clean, happy-ending romance novel & take a break for a while. However, I know before I pick one out what I don’t want in it. I don’t want characters lusting after each other on page 5 & erotica on page 10. So I purposely don’t pick those, because I know I will be disappointed in it. — That’s not to say the author can’t write or that they don’t tell a good story… just that it wasn’t written for me. I keep that in mind any time I read a book. I remind myself that if I didn’t like it, then it wasn’t the book for me. That maybe the author’s style wasn’t the right one for me. I try not to be overly harsh on an author’s work when I know it most likely wasn’t my thing to begin with.
There is always a target audience. There is always someone who is going to love what someone else doesn’t. — I think on days like today, I forget that. I think about the people who aren’t like me & I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I will put my heart & soul into something so very important to me and that the world will think… good heavens, who published this & why?
My last post was about critics. It started from thinking of those belittling the talent & ability of an individual in the beginning of their career. — Today what I’m afraid of are the people waiting to tear you apart once you make it. The ones who read your work & have little compassion for what it took to write it.
Before I started taking my writing seriously a couple of years ago, I had no problem complaining about someone else’s. However now that I know what it’s like… I always catch myself refusing to judge too harshly. — It’s amazing what taking a walk in another’s shoes will help you to see! — I guess I just need to remember that there is a target audience out there for me & my writing. I’m going to hit the nail on the head & I’m going to make it in this world. If for no other reason than sheer willpower alone, I’ll make it. (Well, that & God of course.. ) — & Once I do make it, the right people will enjoy it.
— It’s nearly 5 A.M. now. I don’t feel quite as overwhelmed as I did before. I think maybe I just needed to sit down & have this little heart to heart with myself. — Good thing it worked. 🙂